"Say it Ain't So, Rick"

Saw this at rotoworld this morning:

Rick Ankiel-OF- Cardinals Sep. 7 - 3:55 am et
The New York Daily News reports that Rick Ankiel received a 12-month supply of human growth hormone in 2004 from a Florida pharmacy currently under investigation.
So much for what was arguably the best story of the year. If that was Ankiel's only foray into the world of PEDs, one could almost sympathize with him. Ankiel, still a pitcher at the time, had his 2002 and 2003 seasons wrecked by elbow injuries and was trying desperately to make it back. Still, he could have been cheating long before his elbow problems and there's no telling whether he's still using today -- MLB players are not tested for HGH. While a suspension for Ankiel isn't at all likely, we doubt this story will go away as quickly as the news regarding Gary Matthews Jr. did.
Source: NY Daily News

Dammit! This really casts a shadow on what is arguably one of the great sports comeback stories I can remember, period. Here's what I wrote about Ankiel when he first came up to the Cards last month, and the story had only gotten more incredible since—the guy had 7 RBI last night! In 23 games he's hitting .360 with 9 bombs and 29 Ribs. The Cards jumped on his back and climbed back into the race going 17-6 since his call-up.

As rotoworld said, this guy had such downfall—first mental, then physical—one can almost forgive the desperation he must have been feeling at the time. According to the story, he recieved one shipment, before MLB's ban on HGH took effect in 2005, and there is no indication he got any more after that.

What I'd love is for Ankiel to come clean, and make a heartfelt confession about what he was going through, and how he was willing to do whatever he could within the rules at the time to resurrect his career. Unfortunately, he can't do that because while MLB didn't ban HGH, he probably received it illegally. There's no way to know if he uses it now or anytime in between, because MLB does not test for HGH.

I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. For now. I'm also going to start getting used to the fact that just about everybody did some of this shit...

UPDATE: Deadspin editor and CArds fan Will Leitch has a good post up.

Nelson Award: "I Have a Wide Stance!"

The public bathroom-related sexual exploits of the GOP (Gay Old Perverts?) Party continue...

[TPM link] Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) was arrested in June at a Minnesota airport by a plainclothes police officer investigating lewd conduct complaints in a men’s public restroom, according to an arrest report obtained by Roll Call Monday afternoon.

[...]“At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly...The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area,” the report states.

Craig then proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times, and Karsnia noted in his report that “I could ... see Craig had a gold ring on his ring finger as his hand was on my side of the stall divider.”

Karsnia then held his police identification down by the floor so that Craig could see it.

“With my left hand near the floor, I pointed towards the exit. Craig responded, ‘No!’ I again pointed towards the exit. Craig exited the stall with his roller bags without flushing the toilet.* ... Craig said he would not go. I told Craig that he was under arrest, he had to go, and that I didn’t want to make a scene. Craig then left the restroom.”

In a recorded interview after his arrest, Craig “either disagreed with me or ‘didn’t recall’ the events as they happened,” the report states.

Craig stated “that he has a wide stance when going to the bathroom and that his foot may have touched mine,” the report states. Craig also told the arresting officer that he reached down with his right hand to pick up a piece of paper that was on the floor.

Fortunately for Craig, this story comes out during a week when Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are on vacation, so I won't have any video links like I did for the last Chester the GOP Public Restroom Molester**

To Craig's credit the bowlegged defense is better than claiming the cop was wearing "what looked like a black guy's shoes" and opting for the racist "afraid for my life" defense like the previous perv. Though, like Rep. Allen, he tried to pull rank/bribe/intimidate the arresting officer:

Allen: When Allen was loaded into the patrol car, the statement said, he asked if "it would help" that he was a state legislator.

"No," the officer said.

"Help?" Helps make it funny as hell... Craig tried likewise:

Roll Call quoted the Aug. 8 police report as saying that Craig had handed the arresting officer a business card that identified him as a member of the Senate.

"What do you think about that?" Craig is alleged to have said, according to the report.

Oh, and for the record both of these jackass hypocrits were stalwart defenders of marriage and voted 100% against gays.

*Should we assume he also left without WASHING?

** I had this story set aside as a draft, and after today's story I went back, finished it off and posted it.

iDiots

Look, I'm as big an Apple fan* as anyone, but I was just astounded at the display last week of jackasses camping out on the street to get in line for an overpriced, oversized phone/iPod. People scalped their spots in line for thousands of dollars!

I'm sure it's slick and pretty—all Apple products are—but come on, people, get a fucking life. It's a phone!

Anyway, at Christmastime the jokes on all of those asshats that overpaid for the oversized first-gen iPhone, when Apple unveils the newer, smaller, cheaper nano-based iPhone...

NEW YORK - Apple Inc. plans to launch a cheaper version of the iPhone in the fourth quarter that could be based on the ultra-slim iPod Nano music player, according to a JP Morgan report.

Kevin Chang, a JP Morgan analyst based in Taiwan, cited people in the supply channel he did not name and an application with the U.S Patent and Trademark office for his report dated July 8.

Apple filed a patent application document dated July 5 that refers to a multifunctional handheld device with a circular touch pad control, similar to the Nano's scroll wheel.

Apple spokeswoman Natalie Kerris declined comment.

Don't these nerds know that it never pays to buy the first version of something? Especially with Apple? Jobs always has something else up his sleeve.

Here's a funny bit from The Daiily show on the iPhone...



UPDATE: But, will it blend?

* Full disclosure: Pretending I haven't had two Apple products utterly fail and screw me over the last five weeks...AND, I just gave Apple another two grand to replace my wife's laptop and get myself a new display. For the G5 that's still in the shop.