Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Dick of the Week: Make Way For Ducklings Edition

So what does it take to bring me back to the keyboard and start up the blog again after several months? (Not counting yesterday's post)

It take the actions of a complete asshole right here in my own backyard:
Ann Arbor man accused of running over ducklings faces felony charge
A man accused of running over four ducklings with a Hummer in a McDonald's parking lot in Ann Arbor on Monday night was charged today with a felony.

Dillon Robert Pearce, 19, of Ann Arbor was arraigned this afternoon at the Washtenaw County Jail on a charge of killing an animal.

Ann Arbor police said Pearce deliberately ran over the ducklings in the parking lot of the McDonald's at 2675 Plymouth Road, where he initially stopped to pick up food at 6:15 p.m. Monday.

Police said Pearce stopped at the drive-thru, when one of his friends got out and attempted to pick up a duckling. A duck and at least 8 ducklings had been walking in the lot, police said. Employees at McDonald's yelled at the man to stop, police said.

The man got back into the Hummer, which left the parking lot, pulling into an adjacent lot for about 15 minutes while the men ate their food, police said. Witnesses told police that the Hummer then returned to the lot and ran over four of the ducklings, police said. Police said Pearce drove away without stopping. Officers arrested Pearce at a nearby gas station after interviewing him and the two other men in the Hummer.

At his arraignment this afternoon, Pearce told Magistrate Thomas Truesdell that he planned to hire a private attorney. Truesdell set bond at $5,000 with the right to post 10 percent.

A preliminary hearing is scheduled for May 4. If convicted of the felony charge, Pearce faces up to four years in prison.

This kid has bad seed written all over him. Not only did he run over duckings in his Assholemobile, but he and his soulless cohorts sat across the parking planning this sick little escapade over their fries and shakes. Throw the fucking book at him. In fact, tack on some Federal Migratory Bird Act charges on top, and seize the Hummer for its use in the commission of a felony.

That might get this punk's attention. Obviously, his previous run-in with the cops didn't...

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

If I ran things, the only thing that could fix this guy would be a good beheading.

Chris Howard said...

I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, this guy and his friends are clearly bad people. If you plot to kill ducklings for malicious fun, you probably also beat up people for fun.

But on the other hand, I have a real problem with our cultural and legal double standards concerning treatment of animals. What if they had maliciously run over some snakes? Snakes aren't cute and most people are scared of them. Would they be facing felony charges?

And then of course, there's our whole issue of turning a blind eye to institutional cruelty in our industrial farming but bringing the hammer down on individuals.

Smitty said...

Welcome back to the intertubes.

That kind of shit is not only sadistic, but is shown by gobs of research to be a warning sign of a domestic abuser.

And it just figured to fucking pieces that he did it in a Hummer.

Bob said...

I reallly wish he had done that in a Prius. Of course, then the cops would have let him go.

steves said...

I have mixed feeling about this too. While he is a class A douchebag, I don't see this as a felony.

That kind of shit is not only sadistic, but is shown by gobs of research to be a warning sign of a domestic abuser.

If he would have drove home and beat the shit out of his wife/partner, then that crime would have only been a misdemeanor.