Class Dismissed

"...why are fans of New England teams so reviled?" a commenter at twoglasses asks. I posted a long-ass answer that I'll reprise here, but really boils down to three words...

Because they're dicks.

Seriously? It IS because they're dicks, but it's a more complex story than that. Fans in New England no longer no their place, and it's due to success. they've become the equivalent of the "ugly American."

I grew up in Connecticut—among the Sox-Yanks border wars. My dad was a Red Sox fan (but, ironically a Giants fan), and I was actually taught how to score a baseball game by my grandmother of all people. My grandfather was actually featured on local television after the 2004 World Series as one of those fans who never thought they'd live to see the Sox win again.

Because of that background, I think I'm a bit more old-school than typical fans these days. A little less emotional, a little more reserved. Particularly in trying to be somewhat gracious in victory—at least NOT being a complete prick.

I always thought Fenway Park contained the superior fan. I went to school in NY and lived for years in NYC and that conclusion was borne out of years of experience. Yankee fans in Boston were treated to more or less good-natured ribbing, while Sox fans in NY should fear for their safety (or at least their laundry).

As the Yankees latest dynasty took shape, that dynamic changed. Sox fans became bitter. Ugly. While in NY, perhaps watered down by bandwagon-jumpers, Yankee fans seemed to be able to relax, rise above. I suppose that's easy(ier) when you win every freaking year. But I could sit in box seats, upper deck, wherever in the Bronx wearing a visitors cap or jersey and it seemed to be no big deal.

To be clear, I fucking HATED Yankee fans when I lived in NY, and much of that city's phony embrace of the team drove me nuts.

Meanwhile, in Boston, it was different. After losing the ALCS in 2003 in the Aaron Boone game, I was positively despondent. I didn't know if I could ever watch again. I caused me to reassess. How important is this shit? But to other fans, it was like losing to Bush in 2004. Anger and hate built. Boiled over. Winning the World Series in 2004 was a fantastic, cathartic moment in my life. Much of the country seemed along for the ride, it was great. But too many fans in New England (Boston particularly) reacted with a classless, jeering "in your face!" attitude.

Celebrate? Sure. Talk shit to and about the team that has handed you your ass repeatedly throughout history ? Not so much. Not for eternity anyway. But that's what they did. And I find it ugly. So, apparently, does everybody else.

As for the Pats, this was just happening on an exponential level, because the success was that much greater. Unlike my hereditary Sox fandom, my affection for the Pats was entirely self-installed. And for years it sucked. That gave me perspective. I was there on the way up—freezing my ass off on a fucking metal bench as plucky Bledsoe-led teams vanquished dragons... Each year going a little bit further... For Brady's emergence...

But as Bill Simmons observed, the "fun kid" Tom Brady has been replaced by a Belichicked android—a perfect fucking emotionless Terminator on the field, who removed suspense from games, and off-field, a guy who gets chicks pregnant and leaves for the next supermodel—in short, a douche. The kind of guy who deserves disdain, and if he were not a good-looking white guy, would probably get some. I find it hard to get behind that guy. He's not a lunchpail quarterback like Steve Grogan, or even Bledsoe (by comparison) or a likable character like Big Ben or Romo—he's a pretty boy fashion model. He's probably even a Republican.

Doing the salary cap league with the guys at twoglasses this season was another eye-opener. The Pats are in many ways like fantasy team to me now. No longer human. And as this "perfect" season wore on I tired of the hype.

But the assholes in Boston reveled in it.

So it is that the Patriots have become the team that New England fans always liked to hate—the dynasty, the favorite. And the New England fans were graceless in that role because they are not accustomed to it. And when something like yesterday happens, the schadenfreude is like a damn tsunami for the rest of the country.

This Old Big House

The University of Michigan is adding a big load of bullshit along with its luxury boxes to Michigan Stadium (aka "The Big House").

After tomorrow's loss to Ohio State, the 107,000-seat stadium will undergo extensive renovations including the addition of 85 luxury suites which (as this picture shows) are basically like two big office buildings along the sideline sides of the stadium.

So, what's the problem? Well, it seems the University has been skating by with "only 88 seats for the disabled, far short of the more than 1,000 that advocates say are required." That's pretty bad. For the record, the stadium is primarily bleacher seating and involves long-ass climbs down into the "bowl" to reach seats, and all services are around the perimeter outside. I could see how that sucks for a guy in a wheelchair.

The University is already battling lawsuits from disabled groups over this, but now the federal Dept of Education is threatening to withold funding for the University if this project doesn't remedy the situation. Good.

U-M makes the bullshit claim that "the original stadium bowl is being repaired, not renovated, and is not subject to A.D.A. rules set in 1990." That's crap. The University's own website on the $226 million project says as much.

That's the same kind of bullshit loophole crap utilities and refineries, etc. use to avoid pollution controls, etc and that shit pisses me off. But this is even worse—this is a state university. An educational intitution. A non-profit (in theory). Step the fuck up, U-M, and do what's right. Add the handicap seats or toilets or whatever and quit being greedy revenue-chasing assholes.

[main image from The Onion]

Patriot Games

[ESPN link] NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has determined that the New England Patriots violated league rules Sunday when they videotaped defensive signals by the New York Jets' coaches, according to league sources.

Here's my take—if you are calling your defensive plays in from the sidelines with hand signals that your players on the field, the Patriots sideline and everyone in the stadium can see, I do NOT consider deciphering those signals cheating. Period.

If The Hoodie is smart enough to crack that code in real time and burn you with his offense—advantage Patriots, and quit yer bitching.

But, if they are using video to record and analyze those signals over the course of a game, at halftime or whatever, it's a clear violation of the "no recording allowed" rule, and the Pats deserve a harsh penalty. Draft picks sound fair to me. Hell, give 'em to the Jets. A forfeit might be too much—this isn't why the Jets got their ass kicked Sunday—the Pats ARE that much better (and as such didn't need to cheat). Though I will say, a forfeit would be a hell of a deterrent—but what is the penalty if the cheating team loses? Set a harsh policy tied to picks and hefty fines.

Oh, and I don't want to hear any whining about them doing this in the past. If the Packers caught them last year and didn't do anything about it they can promptly STFU about it now. That means one of two things to me—they can't prove shit, and thus didn't actually "catch" anything OR they did, but didn't take it to the League because they, and everybody else, are doing it too.

UPDATE: Deadspin says, "why they would do such a thing is another matter ... it's like Lisa Simpson peaking at Ralph Wiggum's test answers."

Also, thanks to 100 Percent Injury Rate for the pic, and this: "I expected this guy to be like a Nam vet using a camcorder and be under a camo grass tarp. Not lugging a huge camera less than 30 feet from the coaches he was not so secretly taping. The guy might as well have had a sign around his neck that said "Suck it Jets, I'm videotaping you assholes."

For the record, that photo seems to leave little doubt. Pretty much red-handed.