Brilliant

The newest right-wing tantrum movement is calling for a boycott of General Motors and Chrysler. That's right, buying American is now un-American. Or something.

And guess who is leading the charge:

Limbaugh reassures any GM workers who might be listening that the boycotters aren't angry at them. "They don't want to patronize Obama. They don't want to do anything to make Obama's policies work!" he explains.

Yeah! 'Cause if it's not the assembly-line workers the listeners are furious with it must be the highly compensated—and likely Republican—executives who drove GM into a ditch? What?...it's just that Obama got involved? Well, since Rush and the Dittoheads want him to fail at any cost, sorry U.S. autoworkers, this time it'll be your jobs.

And so goes Ohio... this fat fucking loudmouth is doing a bang-up job leading the Republicans off a cliff.

Link Dump

WE [NO LONGER] BUILD EXCITEMENT
The boys at Jalopnik put up their post-mortem: 7 Cars That Killed Pontiac

SNARK 101: BASIC CONCEPTS
Should-be NY Times columnist Daniel Larison just destroys the Dick Cheney Fan Club...

SNARK 201: THEORY & APPLICATION
Using David Frum as his shovel, James Wolcott buries the GOP.

SNARK 301: ADVANCED STUDY
[via Wolcott] The best analysis of what ails the Republican Party I've seen—The Mahablog:

Most political parties exist to represent some part of public opinion. But today’s GOP drives away any part of the public that doesn’t represent its opinion.

In many ways, IMO, the Republican Party is acting like an apocalyptic cult — a small number of true believers waiting for some Big Cataclysmic Event that’s going to change everything, to their advantage. For that reason, present reality doesn’t interest them, because present reality is just a temporary aberration (which it may be, but not in the way they think). Thus, movement conservatives brush off opinion polls that show their positions to be wildly unpopular. They don’t need to worry about election losses, shrinking party membership, an aging political base, or senior senators who jump ship. They don’t need to change with the times. They’ll be vindicated when the Mother Ship arrives. You’ll see.

Screw Job

It's another deadline week, so posting will be sparse... I haven't had time to read the details of the GM bailout and forced Chrysler merge, but my gut reaction is...

"Bullshit."

Yes, viewed in a vacuum, I say the government gets to dictate terms when they bail you out. If that means, "fire your board," or "your shareholders get a haircut," that's fine. Don't take the money if you're not willing to abide.

But the fact that the auto companies—companies that nation-wide employ hundreds of thousands of people in good living-wage jobs manufacturing real, durable, tangible goods that contribute to the economy in myriad ways—are getting a trial by fire from the Obama team. Last I checked, the Big Three didn't blow through everyone else's savings (well, excepting Dodge Avenger owners) and drive themselves and the economy over a cliff with borderline-illegal high-stakes gambling. At least at the end of the year Detroit can point to several million cars as a result of their business.

Meanwhile, the greed cancer-infested financial sector that engaged in an unregulated spree of graft and thievery is getting comparatively soft, kid glove treatment and a bailout approach that seems hell-bent on preserving the previous, fatally flawed system and those who run it. Oh, and did I mention an exponentially higher price tag?

This double standard is fucking bullshit. Automakers get raked over the coals for how they flew into D.C. while Wall Street thieves walk away with taxpayer-funded bonuses totaling in the billions.

Someone explain to me how this doesn't sound exactly like something that would have happened under the previous administration.

UPDATE: Mike's spent some more time thinking/reading/writing about this...

UPDATE 2: And so has The Michigan Posse.

Dick of the Week: Harry Reid

Big surprise, right? This feckless asshole has GOT TO go...

Senate GOP Kills Auto Bailout Compromise
A proposed $14 billion automaker bailout bill, agreed to by Congressional Dems and the White House, collapsed late Thursday evening in the face of the opposition by Senate Republicans. "It's over with," declared Harry Reid.

Is is Harry Reid's fault that a group of Southern Senators want to jumpstart a new Confederacy and push the whole country towards a Depression just to score a few union scalps? No. But it's Reid's fucking fault that the Republicans get to scuttle badly needed action by quasi-filibustering without actually having to get off their asses.

Again.

Reid is yet again letting the whole Senate appear to blow it, when it's really a handful of "right to work" assholes actually colluding with foreign companies against American workers just to bust unions.

There's much more on this topic, but I'm on deadline, so it might be days til I can spend time on it...Have at it.

UPDATE: Another reason Harry sucks. His kiss-ass reaction to this bullshit.

Not Even Close

According to this analysis by Jim Manzi, it appears I spent more time and effort on my post Wed. night than GM did on their "restructuring" proposal to Congress.

As I read through Manzi's post I found myself growing angrier, further resenting these asshat execs running GM, and wishing them and the company nothing but ill will.

GM does not appear serious about doing anything that will help the industry—or even their own goddamn corporation—over the long haul. Their proposal appears to be nothing more than a PowerPoint presentation for getting in on the bailout bonanza and a way to extort concessions from the unions. Assholes.

Oh, and fuck Chrysler and Cerberus.

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UPDATE: Ford says it's okay for now, but wants a line of credit in case things get worse—I think that's posturing and merely trying to avoid the "about to go under stigma" of GM and Chrysler. That USAT link has a side bar that includes a list of each automakers plans. Here's part of GM's:

Sell Saab, trim Pontiac, sell or close Saturn, sell fewer models. Reduce powertrain and stamping facilities to 38 by end of 2012, from 64 now.

A good start, but nowhere near what I suggested, and as Manzi pointed out doesn't get them anywhere close to financially viable.

UPDATE 2: An additional "Fuck you" to Cerberus, and can somebody explain to me how combining two "too big to fail corporations" into one even bigger failing corporation is a smart move? Republican Senators are pushing for a GM/Chrysler merger.

My Big Three Bailout Plan

Yeah, that's right. I'm laying out my plan to save the industry, but first, I've got some shit to get off my chest...

I've been mulling over a massive critique of the American auto companies for a while now...Ever since I went to the (Detroit) North American International Auto Show a couple years ago and watched as GM countered the onslaught of the Prius, hybrid Hondas and other kick-ass imports with the big unveiling of their updated GMT900 line of full-size trucks and SUVs (Silverados, Tahoe, Yukons, Suburban, etc.)

One year later, Dodge brought in a herd of cattle for their new full-size Ram pickup to "drive" through downtown Detroit. Putting aside the sheer stupidity of that stunt and lack of relevance of using the truck for actual labor, they were even further behind than GM.

Now I'm not saying all of those vehicles weren't a little long in the tooth, and didn't need a facelift—they did, and they are the best looking versions of those trucks yet—but GM (and last year, Chrysler) was betting EVERYTHING on these vehicles at a time when it was clear the Era of the Big SUV was winding down. They've made some admirable gains in fuel economy, introduced a hybrid Tahoe, but the fact remains they were behind the curve in a big way, and instead of investing in warm blood and fur, they poured hundreds of millions of dollars redesigning the dinosaur right before the Ice Age.



It appears they have learned that lesson now, when it is too late. GM has indefinitely suspended plans to redesign the line again, instead of the standard six-year lifespan. What brought them to that conclusion? Full-size SUV sales have plummeted 51% since they unveiled the 2007 models. The Trailblazer (mid-size SUV) sales fell 73%. And those numbers are from before gas prices spent the summer over $4.

One thing Detroit can clearly still do is rear-view mirrors.

Here's the thing: Two years ago, I knew those SUVs were going to be launched, and how fucking stupid a bet GM was making, but that's not what's most frustrating... It was going to the NAIAS this past January and seeing these cars:



What's wrong with those cars, Mr Furious?

Nothing. Nothing except the fact that in January of 2008 they were still fucking concept vehicles for GM! I'm pretty sure Toyota's been making money hand over fist in that niche with Scion since 2004.

All I could do is stare from offstage, snap my pics and wonder aloud, "Why the hell aren't cars like that in showrooms NOW?!?"

If I were on the Senate Banking Committee today, I'd ask Rick Wagoner why it wasn't some team's 24/7 job to get those two cars on the road by the end of the year. Seriously. And don't waste time blanding-down the design—those two cars are hot and would sell like crazy just as they are.

Which leads me to my first bailout requirement:

Fire everyone who looks at a concept car and says, "our focus group tells us that they won't like..." I bet there's a whole level of management jackasses in each division responsible for taking cool cars and turning them into Cobalts and G5s. History backs me up on this. The cars released in the last decade that made the smallest style jump from show floor to showroom were successful: The New Beetle, Mini Cooper, PT Cruiser, the current Prius. Next up? The Volt. They've already made the concept car look too much like a Stratus. Why is Detroit afraid to take a fucking chance? The Volt NEEDS TO look different. It's the first electric car. People who buy one don't want to be mistaken for Malibu drivers (and for the record, I think the Malibu is the best-looking Chevy sedan in forty years). Do you hear what I'm saying, GM? "Green" sells. Prius drivers aren't just saving gas, they're making a fucking statement driving around in that lozenge. All the hype around the Volt is going to deflate somewhat when that cool-ass concept everyone saw looks "normal."

Let me get to the real nuts and bolts stuff that needs to happen to save these companies. Trim the fat. And there is plenty of it. All of the Big Three have too much duplication across brands. Cut brands, and cut models:

GENERAL MOTORS

Buick—Gone. The loyal Buick customer base has to be pushing 70. Elderly people buying their last car ain't a plan for the future.

Cadillac—An upscale line is good. And I like the new "sharp edge" direction. Skews younger. Pick one full size sedan, I like the STS, so ditch the DTS. You can only keep the Escalade if every single one is Hybrid or DoD (Displacement on Demand—shuts off half the cylinders when not needed)

Chevy—Family cars, SUVs, pickups and the Corvette. That's it. Start making Hybrid Equinoxes. And goddammit, build a fucking station wagon again. No more Avalanche—stupidest idea ever. All full-size trucks and SUVs need Hybrid or DoD powertrains.

GMC—Gone. There is no need to duplicate with Chevy: Yukon=Tahoe. Stop building both. All commercial trucks are Chevys now. Why? Because the separate division has a whole layer of management that is redundant.

HUMMER—Gone. Just for symbolism's sake if nothing else, but that market is dead.

Pontiac—Because I like the Vibe, Solstice and G6 so much it's hard to let go. Pontiac can be the "sporty division" and those three and the G8 is their lineup. That's it. No SUVs or vans, and ditch the G5, it's ugly.

Saab—Sell it. Please. Let somebody in Sweden make cool, quirky cars again. GM trashed this once great brand the second they bought it, and I will go back to Detroit and kill someone if their mismanagement means Saab's demise.

Saturn—Duplication is a problem here, but they have the best lineup in the company, run differently from factory to sales floor and as far as I know do well.


FORD MOTOR COMPANY

Ford—Your website won't load, so you get nothing. Actually, here's what I want: The European Focus. Wagons and hatchbacks. Trust me.

Lincoln—Again, and upscale brand is fine. Sedans only. No SUVs.

Mercury—A fetish for vertical grillwork is no reason to duplicate an entire line of automobiles. Good bye.

CHRYSLER

Chrysler—Family sedans and minivans. No more Aspen. All trucks and SUVs are now Dodges or Jeeps. Limit duplication.

Dodge—Sporty cars and trucks only. All lame sedans (Avenger=Sebring) and vans are now Chryslers.

Jeep—Compass, Liberty or PAtriot: Pick one, lose the other two. Everything else is fine.

Note: In no way do I support a financial benefit for Cerberus, the holding company that owns Chrysler, until the company is back in the black and they earn a reward for their investment.

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All companies need to start cracking on electric, hybrid and alternative fuel vehicles like fucking yesterday. Engine technology improvements have gone too far over towards power instead of efficiency. There is really no need for any average family car to be packing over 200 horses. Get that shit turned around.

No companies can pay dividends, and stockholders are holding the bag—I don't care if they take a bath. Top level executives forgo salaries until the loans are paid back. Their stock options should be compensation and incentive enough. Mid-level management should have been thinned with consolidation of brands and models, all salaries and bonuses are frozen.

Union wages freeze. Contracts are not opened up, but concessions can and should be made. Negotiations to alter terms for legacy costs should ensue.

ALL THREE COMPANIES NEED TO ACTIVELY PUSH FOR UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE. When enacted, all employees top to bottom, plus retirees need to abandon company healthcare in favor of national plan. This single factor will relieve their biggest current and legacy financial burdens.

That's all I can think of now, and I'm tired. Get it done, you bastards.