Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Doppelganger

Josh Marshall has the latest on the top Bush advisor, Claude Allen, who was charged with shoplifting. They are floating a hilarious/ridiculous defense of Allen: It wasn't him, it was his twin brother...the evil one:
As you know, we've been following the bizarre case of Claude Allen, former top advisor to President Bush who was arrested a few days ago and booked and charges stemming from a lengthy shoplifting spree.

Now, here late this evening I got an email from TPM Reader WH who directed my attention to today's All Things Considered on NPR in which Michele Norris interviews Michael Fletcher, a reporter with the Post who's been covering the story.

Now, right at about 1:40 into the interview comes this exchange ...

Norris: We should note something, Michael. Apparently Claude Allen has a twin brother?

Fletcher: Yes, he does. He has an identical twin brother who even close friends can’t tell them apart when they see them. And people have seen him and close friends say that Mr. Allen has indicated to them that maybe his brother holds the key to this entire puzzling affair.


Now, I take it I'm not reading too much into this to think that the idea here is that this is a case of mistaken identity in which the virtuous Claude Allen has been nailed for the crimes of his evil twin Floyd.

I have to tell you this new story seems so insane and ridiculous that I half suspect it's actually true. And, no, I'm not entirely kidding. Who could come up with such a story?

Look at Floyd. He's totally shifty—he won't even look at the camera!

Seriously, Marshall's right. It IS so ridiculous it's almost believable. Apparently the brother was bankrupt, had some problems and there seemed to be no reason for Claude Allen to be involved in this. Of course this behavior often has nothing to do with need or logic (see Ryder, Winona).

As much as I'd love to see a Bushie go down and drag the White a bit further over the cliff, I'm going to put my money on this wacky "twin" story turning out to be true.

If it is, and it works look for Allen, watch for "it wasn't me who ordered the invasion with too few troops. It was my estranged brother Ronald Rumsfeld. Even Paul Wolfowitz couldn't tell us apart...."

Don't they know, the Evil Twin would have been betrayed by his goatee?

Oh, and in the course of searching for the Spock photo I discovered there's a band called Spock's Beard. That is a kick-ass name.

UPDATE: The Doppelganger Defense takes a big hit. Seeing how Claude Allen admitted to investigators that he had made the returns, but there was a misunderstanding. Unless it was really Floyd who made the admission...[/menacing music]

I'd still be willing to believe that the videotape evidence is in doubt if the culprit looks exactly like you, but not after Allen's admission of making some of the returns, and the resulting investigation.

Unless Claude Allen wants to maintain that Floyd had him locked in the basement and posed as HIM for the last year. Hmmm. Perhaps the President can get in on that defense as well. His "trusted domestic policy advisor" was really an evil imposter! That's why my domestic policy is total shit!

1 comment:

S.W. Anderson said...

Twin brother, huh? Confession? Misunderstanding. . .?

I think I'm getting a headache.