Thursday, May 03, 2007

Worst. Airport. Ever.

Washington D.C.'s Dulles International.

Let's start with the outdated, foul-smelling Damnation Alley terminal shuttles. Is this the only airport using these crazy-ass things? If so, how much did it cost to custom-order a fleet of fifteen-feet-in-the-air double-wides? And was Halliburton the lucky recipient of that contract? They probably could have had gold-plated monorails for less.

And once you ride one of these things (which drive around the same lanes as the jetliners, btw) to your terminal of choice, you are greeted by an endless line of half-closed steel gates—because everything in the airport closes at 9:00 p.m.! I had to walk the more-than quarter-mile length of the A/B terminal, without the assistance of any type of moving sidewalk, to get the last sandwich of the night from Potbelly's. And then make the long trek back eating said sandwich in front of the people who had been shut out at the Potbelly's counter moments after I ordered. Talk about awkward...

Is there any excuse for an airport that had flights going out as late as 11:00 p.m. top have NO food available after 9:00? I had just arrived on a flight that served us soda and that's it. Not even pretzels. I, and surely everyone else on board with a connection, was counting on getting food while waiting for their next flight. Awful.

6 comments:

Smitty said...

Oh, I don't know. I mean those huge custom trucks (and no, in all my travels I have seen absolutely nothing of the sort) are bizarre and seem ready to tip any second, but you live in Michigan. How dismal is the Smith terminal of Detroit Metro? Pretty dismal.

Mr Furious said...

Dismal indeed. This was one of the rare times I didn't fly Northwest, so, yes, I flew in and out of Smith. Total dump.

But at least it has the excuse of being old, and there is a renovation happening, plus a shiny new (and nice) terminal down the road.

From what I read yesterday about that terminal at Dulles, it's only 10 years old and going nowhere fast.

Mr Furious said...

And what's the deal with the lack of moving sidewalks? According to Wikipedia, that building is over 1,400 feet long! And that fucking lunar rover drops you off at one end of the building...

Smitty said...

Moving sidewalks are a matter of convenience. And with a building that's 1/4 mile....that's just courtesy.

I hate Dulles. It is, when you think about it, aptly named.

Mike said...

Worst. Airport. Ever.

Uhhhh, ever heard of this place called, "LaGuardia"?

Mr Furious said...

Ha! LaGuardia sucks too. Fortunately for me I haven't used it in the post 9/11 world, so I never had to spend any time there. When I lived in Brooklyn, I loved it's convenience by car, and would arrive there just in time to make my flight, O.J. Simpson-style.

Who cares if it's a shithole if you're just running through it...