Monday, November 19, 2007

John McCain: Toughguy Moron

John McCain is trying hard to muscle-up as the toughest GOP candidate...
"It's my intention, if we win this nomination, to reject Secret Service," he said during one of his many conversations with reporters on his Straight Talk Express this weekend. "Why do I need it?"

He adds: "The day that the Secret Service can assure me that if we're driving in the motorcade and there's a guy in a rooftop with a rifle, that they can stop that guy, then I'll say fine. But the day they tell me, 'well, we can't guarantee it,' then fine, I'll take my chances."

McCain rejected Secret Service protection in 2000, after winning the New Hampshire primary. But he wants to go further, rejecting the massive security apparatus should he become president.

"It's the inconvenience," McCain said. "It's the inconvenience it causes people. It's a waste of the taxpayers money. It's just everything I don't like."

[...] He recalled a time during Bill Clinton's presidency, when Clinton and his wife, the first lady, both had events in New York City, each traveling with large security caravans. "The island of Manhattan was gridlocked," he recalled.

[...] "you don't need 50 cars and SUV's full of people driving along, stopping traffic."

Jesus. What's next with these fucking idiots? "I'm gonna wear me some six-shooters, and Allah help Osama if he crosses my path while I'm out fightin' crime."

Nice how he works that little partisan "those Clinton Pussies" barb in there, huh? Like Bush just rides his mountain bike around town when he comes to NYC...

I lived in New York during Presidential visits, and yeah, it was a pain—for about twenty minutes while the motorcade flew up the FDR. Better to have, as McCain waxes, "a car with tinted glass, and maybe one secret service guy with you" caught in a traffic jam?

Sorry, but you have a bit of a responsibility to the country to try and stay alive.

Oh, and Senator? Would you care to explain how this fits in with your "four helicopter gunships and a battalion of troops" escort in that "safe" Baghdad marketplace...

[h/t: 'Bagger]

12 comments:

michelline said...

Oh, and Senator? Would you care to explain how this fits in with your "four helicopter gunships and a battalion of troops" escort in that "safe" Baghdad marketplace...


HeHe!!

Mr Furious said...

I can't take total credit for that, as I saw a comment similar somewhere...

But I just have to ask, what is the point of a statement like this? Seriously.

"Vote McCain, but you better like my VP, 'cause he'll be President after a few months..."

Rickey Henderson said...

Why stop at dismissing the Secret Service? Why not just base jump or parachute into all public speaking engagements and venues? Those are the kind of balls Rickey wants on his next president.

Mr Furious said...

Parachutes are for pansies. I want my President swinging in on a vine.

Or on the hood of a car—TJ Hooker style.

Mr Furious said...

McCain thinks he's tough? Screw that codger.

Here's how President Furious rolls up to the U.N. Get the fuck out of the way!

Once those Iraniabs see how fucking crazy-tough I am, and they're done changing their robes, they'll hand over all their nukes.

S.W. Anderson said...

All the negative publicity from that heavily defended Baghdad shopping expedition probably explains McCain's desire to say, "See, I ain't askeerd o' nuthin'" now.

If he were to become president, God forbid, I think the greatest threat to McCain's hide would come not from jihadist crazies, but radical right-wing nutjobs of the homegrown variety. Same goes for almost any president, BTW.

Rickey Henderson said...

Hey look, I'll give McCain this much: when he wants a rug, he spares no taxpayer expense at getting one. Now that is a dedicated shopper.

Rickey Henderson said...

Hey look, I'll give McCain this much: when he wants a rug, he spares no taxpayer expense at getting one. Now that is a dedicated shopper.

Rickey Henderson said...

Ah fuck... Rickey double posted AND forgot to type in the third person. Forgive Rickey for this greivous error.

Ryan said...

I just found your blog and, Mr Furious, you have a new fan.

RoadkillRefugee said...

Me too -- good stuff. I only want McCain in there long enough to ensure a bloody internecine battle among the GOP candidates for as long as possible. Getting the popcorn ready...

Mr Furious said...

Welcome, my friends, welcome. From whence did thou come?