Tuesday, November 13, 2007

"...we're going to Heaven! Yeaararh!!!

Yes, this is actually a news story, and this is actually the headline:
Dean says Jews can go to heaven
Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean came out for inclusive team prayers in public schools while speaking Sunday to a gathering of thousands of Jewish leaders, according to a leading Jewish news agency.

In another statement likely to stir debate among the evangelical Christians his party is urgently trying to court, Dean also asserted “there are no bars to heaven for anybody,”

The remarks in Nashville, Tenn., come at a time when Democratic candidates in general – and the DNC in particular – have been increasing outreach to voters for whom faith and values is a decisive issue.

[...] Dean’s comments followed an address by the University of Tennessee's head basketball coach, Bruce Pearl, who told the crowd that as a Jewish student in public schools, he always felt uncomfortable when he was playing sports and his team's pre-game prayers would end with an invocation to Jesus.

"This country is not a theocracy," Dean said, "There are fundamental differences between the Republican Party and the Democratic Party. The Democratic Party believes that everybody in this room ought to be comfortable being an American Jew, not just an American; that there are no bars to heaven for anybody; that we are not a one-religion nation; and that no child or member of a football team ought to be able to cringe at the last line of a prayer before going onto the field."

Personally, I think it would be more fun (and accurate) if Howard said "there is no heaven, you suckers."

The right-wing fundie crowd is aghast at these comments, "that's up to God, not Howard Dean and the Liberals.." etc. I'm also pretty sure it's not up to you, either. The fact that a guy who married a Jewish woman and has Jewish children might want to believe they can go to Heaven too is a threat to these freaks?

Sorry, God Squaders, if Heaven is only for judgemental, white, hyper-religious assholes, I'll pass. And I'm pretty sure Howard's not courting your vote either.


Smitty said...

Mr. F, I wish that our religion would be as good as theirs. I mean, isn't it more comforting to know that heaven is only an exclusive club for you and your buddies and doesn't have to include funny little bald guys in orange dresses or peopl who call the Old Testament something funny?

Hermes said...

Mr Furious, as a practicing Christian I am outraged and disgusted that my religion has been co-opted by these heretics and hypocrites. It's nice to know that there's a place in hell as well for the assortment self-righteous, hypocritical, judgemental assholes we see pulling the strings of the Republicans.

Mr Furious said...

Thanks, Hermes. I can imagine that's pretty damn annoying.

Look, I've got no problem with people who believe in Heaven or whatever they want...In fact, if you're an intolerant bigot, I'm sure in your personal "heaven" there's no gays, blacks, jews or whatever group you don't like to be around. That would make it your "paradise."

But because that's what you want doesn't make it so, any more than what Dean says he wants.

I just don't understand this Christian persecution complex on the Right...like Howard Dean is smuggling Jews across the border into your Heaven...

Anonymous said...

"..like Howard Dean is smuggling Jews across the border into your Heaven..."

I love it,
Howard "Tubman" Dean
Smuggling Jews into Heaven since 1981