Miscellany

THE ILLUSION OF INEVITIBILITY
When somebody tells you Hillary has the nomination all sewn up, tell them to shut the hell up. And then direct them to this:

CBS News poll from Dec. 17, 2003, polling nationally:
Dean 23%
Clark 10%
Lieberman 10%
Gephardt 6%
Sharpton 5%
Kerry 4%
Edwards 2%
Moseley-Braun 1%

That said, from what I saw of last night's debate, Hillary (with CNN's help) mopped the floor with her rivals.


MLB (NELSON) AWARDS
Since this is the week MLB announces the player awards such as Rookie of the Year, MVP, etc, I thought I'd announce my Baseball Nelson Awards. The first "Ha Ha!" goes to the recently-indicted Barry Bonds. Good luck adding to your HR record if you now have to hit the ball over razor wire... And the "Agent of the Year Award" goes to Scott Boras who cost his be-lipsticked douchebag client thirty million dollars and himself a commission. Actually, maybe ARod came out ahead on that deal...


WANTED: CELLMATE
Remember the Florida State Rep. that was arrested for soliciting a male cop for sex in a park bathroom? You know, back when that sort of thing was all the rage among GOP officeholders (ie: summertime)...and he came up with the best/worst excuse ever*—claiming that since the cop was a "stocky, black guy" he became so frightened he thought he better offer the guy $20 and a blowjob? Well, the still-in-office Rep. Allen had his day in court and was convicted. How "frightened"/aroused would Allen be if they put Barry Bonds in his cell with him? [h/t: The Legal Satyricon]

UPDATE—Bonus humiliation for Allen: "Because of the nature of the crime, prosecutors said, Allen would have to undergo testing for sexually transmitted diseases. The results, they said, would be made public." That seems a bit excessive. Hilarious, but excessive.

*Do yourself a favor and click that link.


OUCH.
Canada doesn't fuck around with their Public Service annnouncements. Check out these workplace safety PSAs. [Warning: Some are extremely graphic.] Restaurant and Construction, Retail, Warehouse.

Miscellany

Bigfoot Possessed by Darwin
Will people never learn that drag races and car-crushing monster trucks are fucking dangerous? [via Jalopnik]

If Your Car's Not From Oklahoma, You're a Pussy!
The far-more-patriotic-than-thou Sooners have come up with an Romneyesque way to fight terror—this senses-shattering display of pure jingoistic bullshit that looks like it came straight from the fevered dreams of Dick Cheney.


I particularly love the tasteful use of the Twin Towers and the pixel desert camo. Stick this on your Hummer, and you're doing your part to fight the terrorists over there. You know, at the mall.

If you look closely, the eagle has a bit of Democrat flesh in its beak. [via proud ashamed Oklahoman Greg at The Talent Show]

I Want One of These
Which will look better with my GWOT license plate—yellow, or silver? [link]



Walking Worse Than Driving
I'm sure this "leading environmentalist" is booked on every FOX News Show possible and will be recess-appointed to head the EPA... [link]

Walking does more than driving to cause global warming, a leading environmentalist has calculated.

Food production is now so energy-intensive that more carbon is emitted providing a person with enough calories to walk to the shops than a car would emit over the same distance. The climate could benefit if people avoided exercise, ate less and became couch potatoes.

Just think! If we all stopped breathing, we could really make a difference! Actually, if this "latest serious thinker to turn popular myths about the environment on their head" would simply share the technology that allowed the car in his study to spontaneously create its own fuel, we might be on to something. Fucking hack.

The Bridge

Obviously a horrible day in the Twin Cities. A couple random thoughts regarding the bridge collapse in Minneapolis...

• It's hard to believe only 4 people died (as of now) during a rush hour disaster like that. There was even a full-sized school bus full of kids on the bridge! It's fortunate that the bridge was only 60 feet high and the river only 7-8 feet deep. I'm sure those are the two biggest positive contributing factors why this isn't much worse. That, and the fact it is summer.

• Anybody else see the film "The Mothman Prophecies?" Can't stop thinking about that.

• I'll go on record and say I have a mild fear of bridges. I used to commute over the Tappan Zee Bridge every day and would often imagine horrible collapse scenarios...and the TZ bridge is much higher, and over a deep and wide Hudson River.

On our regular bike route to the library, Ruby and I ride over a highway overpass on what basically seems to be some tacked-on pedestrian walk. It's a steel grate floor, so you see straight down to I-94. I always imagine that thing breaking off hurtling us onto the highway.

Ironically, one bridge that never frightened me was the Brooklyn Bridge. Driving or walking/biking. That span is well over a hundred years old, the pedestrain path also allows a view straight down to the river between the slats, but for some reason, on that one, I felt fine.

• Can somebody give me a good reason why it should take years to rebuld the span? I've seen anywhere from 3 to 5 years in various stories. I mean, they built the George Washington Bridge and the Golden Gate and San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridges in less time than that, 75-80 years ago!

Ouch.

Glad I didn't see this story before I took my family to Disney World, and then, the other night to the local carnival.

I've never been able to fully relax and enjoy a roller coaster or other thrill ride without the possibilty of a horrific accident poking me in the back of my brain. The fact that I now have kids does not ease that at all. Especially when it comes to safety regarding some sketchy travelling amusement park that Transformers™ out of a bunch of trailers.

Anyway, Ruby loved The Scrambler. Here's an interesting drawing I found while looking for a photo: