Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Miscellany

Bigfoot Possessed by Darwin
Will people never learn that drag races and car-crushing monster trucks are fucking dangerous? [via Jalopnik]

If Your Car's Not From Oklahoma, You're a Pussy!
The far-more-patriotic-than-thou Sooners have come up with an Romneyesque way to fight terror—this senses-shattering display of pure jingoistic bullshit that looks like it came straight from the fevered dreams of Dick Cheney.


I particularly love the tasteful use of the Twin Towers and the pixel desert camo. Stick this on your Hummer, and you're doing your part to fight the terrorists over there. You know, at the mall.

If you look closely, the eagle has a bit of Democrat flesh in its beak. [via proud ashamed Oklahoman Greg at The Talent Show]

I Want One of These
Which will look better with my GWOT license plate—yellow, or silver? [link]



Walking Worse Than Driving
I'm sure this "leading environmentalist" is booked on every FOX News Show possible and will be recess-appointed to head the EPA... [link]
Walking does more than driving to cause global warming, a leading environmentalist has calculated.

Food production is now so energy-intensive that more carbon is emitted providing a person with enough calories to walk to the shops than a car would emit over the same distance. The climate could benefit if people avoided exercise, ate less and became couch potatoes.

Just think! If we all stopped breathing, we could really make a difference! Actually, if this "latest serious thinker to turn popular myths about the environment on their head" would simply share the technology that allowed the car in his study to spontaneously create its own fuel, we might be on to something. Fucking hack.

15 comments:

S.W. Anderson said...

Heh, I liked Oklahoma better when it was the basis for a romantic musical.

Re: walking worse than driving. The obvious absurdity is that people are going to eat, drink, respirate and eliminate as long as they're alive. Vehicles are completely optional and even when used get parked and turned off. Hack is right.

Rickey Henderson said...

Damn, those new Spyder bikes do look nifty...

Rickey's not sure if the "expert" who suggests that walking is worse than driving is deserving of ridicule or a public stoning.

Toast said...

The twin towers on an Oklahoma license plate strikes me as a bitterly ironic bit of juxtaposition. So many red state dwellers have appropriated the moral outrage of 9-11 to fuel their faux patriotism, and yet they typically find New York City -- both physically and in terms of the values it embodies -- quite repellent.

Mr Furious said...

And they are perfectly comfortable marginalizing New Yorkers (or worse, denigrating as liberals or wuss-Americans) when NYers, in fact, bore the brunt of the attack.

Oklahoma City might as well be London, or Ottawa in terms of their degree of "attackedness."

Smitty said...

That Oklahoma plate is REAL??? W...where does the money raised by that plate GO?

Okay..the Spyder...with the two wheels in front, imagine just how fast you can whip around a turn. I must have one.

On the walking-versus-driving: I had to check the link twice just to make sure it wasn't an Onion article. Its base asumption is wrong: the more someone eats, which he encourages by our becoming couch potatoes, then food production thus increases even more.

Again...that Oklahoma plate is REAL???

Chris Howard said...

That OK plate is amazing. Shouldn't they really have a plate with the Murrah building and the caption "Domestic war on Terror"? Florida has a shitload of specialty plates, but nothing approaching that. "Choose Life" is probably the worst. But we also have a John Lennon "Imagine" plate, which I didn't know about until just now. I' going to have to think about that next time I need a plate.

The "expert" on walking vs driving is clearly an idiot. With our epidemic of obesity, we're eating enough calories to fuel that walk whether we drive it or not. And that only matters if what he's saying has any truth at all.

Mr Furious said...

Oklahoma has no less than 145 different license plate styles available. The funds from that GWOT plate go to the 45th Infantry Museum Fund. Not helping vets or military families or anything, but buying, I suppose, tank polish or something.

This is the closest thing Michigan has to OK's FOX News Erection Plate. The "Proud to Be an American" plate was rushed out in October 2001. Actually, right when I was registering my car after moving here. I opted for the classic Michigan White on Blue plate which is the same as the old CT plates I grew up with.

I wonder how many orders for these they fill...

While I was there, I checked and "IMPEACH" is still available, and so is "FUR1OUS" and MR4IOUS"

Mike said...

Does that license plate mean it was an eagle, and not two 767s, that flew into the Twin Towers?

Osama bald Eagle?

Who will defend us from these national birds set to destroy the foundations of our freedoms?

Toast said...

BTW, that three-wheeled motorcycle is the second 2x1 vehicle I've seen announced in recent weeks. Buckminster Fuller, thou art avenged.

Mr Furious said...

I've seen a 2x1 scooter-type vehicle cruise past my house a few times over the last month. I want to know what that one is. It would actually be a better fit into my life.

You know, since I better stop raping the Earth with my bike commute and get my ass back on a motorized vehicle...

rob said...

I have to disagree on that Spyder thing. not only does it look weird, but motorcycles get there great handling from leaning, thus shifting the center of gravity. Those things don't look like they lean at all. Not good for handling (unless you like tipping over)

if it has 2 wheels, i would rather sit, i would take any one of these first:
http://images.businessweek.com/ss/06/01/3_wheel_cars/source/1.htm

As for Ok, i was listening to a comedian on XM yesterday and it had to be a pre 9/11 bit. but he was going off on the american public about how after the oklahoma city bombing everyone was yelling about getting the arabs out of the country.

he ended by saying he wanted to call up the radio after the arrest was made and start demanding that get rid of all the white protestants.
pretty funny, even funnier (sadder?) now.

Rob

rob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rob said...

http://images.businessweek.com/ss/06/01/3_wheel_
cars/source/1.htm

what kind of archaic world is this when i can't create a link!

had to break it in two.

Mr Furious said...

I did some looking around, and the scoooter I was talking about looks like this three-wheeled Vespa—and it certainly leans.

"PIAGGIO MP3, a three-wheeler with two independent tilting front wheels that operate in a “carving” motion. The PIAGGIO MP3 provides safety, road grip and stability levels that no two-wheeler can match, with lean angles of 40 degrees or more possible from novice riders. Available in 125 and 250 forms initially, we’re licking our lips at the prospect of the 500 version.
The two front wheels of the PIAGGIO MP3 re-define the very concept of ride stability to provide an unprecedented riding experience. The front assembly, with two independent tilting wheels, is far more stable than any scooter. The PIAGGIO MP3 grips the road even when tailing other vehicles, providing top performance in total safety.
The full extent of this three-wheeler’s stability can be tested on wet asphalt or tough riding conditions that would sorely challenge a traditional two-wheeler. In town and city traffic the PIAGGIO MP3 has no equal in terms of safety. It takes on cobblestone streets, patchy asphalt and tram tracks with the greatest of ease, remaining safe and stable all the while.


I imagine the Spyder operates similarly. The word "carving" immediately made me think of skiing, which certainly is dependant on leaning. If the front suspensions are independant enough, I could see the two front wheels being more stable than one at least in terms of resisting any slide-out potential.

But, what the hell do I know? My motorcycling experience consists of being on the back of your bike, Rob (and if you recall, my instinct was to lean the wrong way!) and being towed around by a motorcycle riding high school buddy on my ten-speed. Yeah, that was a good idea...

Mr Furious said...

These two videos don't show the Spyder leaning very much. I had to listen w/o sound, so I'm not clear exactly on how the thing works...

It almost looks more like a three-wheeled car than a bike with an extra wheel...