Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Eight Reasons I Rule

Toast tagged me. I get into these things, so I'll do it, but I don't need no stinkin' rules, and like chain letters/emails that go straight in the trash, I don't pass these on. Here goes..."Eight Random Things You Probably Don't Know About Me":

1. When shopping, particularly with groceries, I never buy the item in front. I always grab one from the back. Partly for freshness (with food), and partly for the best possible condition package (anal). But, mostly because I'm crazy.

2. I often on occasion cheat on my "Friday Random Ten" iPod lists. If there's a song I don't feel like listening to, or writing about, it's like it never happened...

3. I cut my pancakes, waffles or French toast up completely and THEN dispense the syrup. This annoys the living hell out of Mrs. F... Screw 'er, that's how I roll.

4. I have ADD. It's officially undiagnosed, but my wife and I are convinced, and I have a doctor willing to prescribe the meds...

5. I've had a vascectomy.

6. I NEVER leave shopping carts loose in the parking lot.

7. I've had six car accidents—four before I went to college and one immediately after college (none serious, no injuries, and all involved vehicles remained mobile) and then one about a year ago—I hit a pedestrian. I was pulling away from a stop sign, so I wasn't going fast, but it was enough to knock him unconscious. He ended up being fine, but it really shook me up. I was techically at fault since he was in the crosswalk, but he came out from in front of a truck and I never saw him. Terrible day. Though I am proud of my 15-plus year clean driving period before that.

8. I am NOT graceful or coordinated. I am a terrible dancer, cannot dribble a basketball without looking at it, and have been accused of playing sports "like John Cleese," whatever that means. I think I'm a fairly good softball player however, but I cannot handle the in-between hop. I like to hit to the opposite field—like Jeter.

UPDATE: Just got back from LLPON, and those lazy asses haven't posted in a week. They need something to get them off their asses. Otto, T-Hous and the boys, consider yourselves tagged. If you need inspiration, check out some fine examples in the comments and from these other folks: Disgruntled Chemist, The Howard Boys, and Fridge.


Toast said...

I must say, I'm pretty shaken up over #2. That's just so unethical.

Mr Furious said...

"Often" is probably too strong..."On occasion" is more accurate. But, yeah, it happens.

rob said...

what about our freakish eye fear?
I remember you ripping down any poster that did not have tape on at least two sides. if it was only taped at the top, you were convinced that it would swing up and scratch your cornea!


Hey, how did I get a blogger identity?

Mr Furious said...

LOL! I didn't know that fear was contagious! It still exists, but is somewhat diminished now that I don't have to regularly navigate the hellish hazards of dorm hallways and their Scyllas of paper...

I alluded to it here.

Mr Furious said...

Hey, how did I get a blogger identity?

Blogger/Google seems to have taken the next evolutionary step towards sentience. It probably recognizes you because you have a google or yahoo account.

Since you've now been exposed, lay your "8" on us here in the comments.

fridge said...

I'm with Toast on #2. That's messed up.

I'm right there with ya on 5. Here's to being out of the gene pool!

The Shopping Cart thing for me is huge. I've even taken time to explain to my kids why it's important for Daddy to put the cart away. I may have even used the phrase "social contract" with a 5 year old. I'm a little obsessed with that myself.

VMH said...

I never buy the item in front

I do the same thing, I never take the first one.

I especially do this when buying a newspaper or magazine, never the one on top.

rob said...

Ha ha,
I meant "y"our freakish eye fear, but it is true that because of you I now have a similar fear. (although mine is not a fear of the cornea, but a fear of you yelling "I told you so").

Hmmm, just because google has given me a blog identity doesn't meant i have to post 8 random things.... oh what the hell.

1. I used to get drunk with Mr Furious and push him into the bushes.

2. For a slob, I have some strange desire to keep certain things in perfect condition. My electronic battleship from 1976 still has all of the white and red pegs. (which are kept in their respective compartments, red up in the smaller top compartment and white in the larger bottom compartment). but here in my home office i can see 6 pairs of shoes scattered across the floor. go figure.

3. I will mercilessly rip Furious' next Friday "random" ten as we now know he is a liar and a cheat.

4. I once bought a car on eBay by accident. (didn't back out of it either, still have it, a '76 MGB)

5. I play the upright bass:

6. I haven't had a haircut in over a year.

7. I know how Harry Potter Ends.

8. I have really cute feet.

gigs said...

Who does't cut up breakfast foods before dispensing syrup? In fact, I have the habit of cutting up all my food before eating anything. Wait, is that weird? Just a little part of my OCD...

Mr Furious said...



gigs said...

So much for anonymity... wasn't sure if you would recognize the 15 year old reference, but you got me!

Rickey Henderson said...

If cutting up your pancakes before dispensing the syrup is "crazy" then Rickey is completely bat shit crazy. Cutting em up ensures an even coating of syrup and prevents against all the syrup spilling off one side of the stack. Yep, Rickey's as well is quite OCD about his pancakes.

Mr Furious said...

Cutting em up ensures an even coating of syrup

EXACTLY! Cutting up means even dispersal across the pieces, and the plate. Some syrup soaks in, and then you swab each bite on the plate as you eat. Ideal.

"Syruping" the whole stack intact means you get a soaked sponge effect on some bites, and not enough syrup on others.

Mr Furious said...

Pouring syrup onto a whole waffle is acceptable, it can be enjoyable to watch the squares fill up, but as soon as you take that vision in, it must then be chopped up into bites post-haste.

S.W. Anderson said...

Interesting. Sorry to hear about the accidents, especially the crosswalk incident.

I often pull products from behind or below, especially from coolers. They're usually colder.

On No. 6, I'm the same way. I don't want loose carts rolling into my vehicle or anyone else's. People who leave them in parking spaces should be subjected to public floggings until they cut it out.

"4. I have ADD. It's officially undiagnosed, but my wife and I are convinced, and I have a doctor willing to prescribe the meds..."

Ah so, this might explain why your visits to my blog are so infrequent.

Mr Furious said...

"Ah so, this might explain why your visits to my blog are so infrequent."


Honestly, I do lurk frequently, just don't always comment.

Mr Furious said...

"I have the habit of cutting up all my food before eating anything. "

Mrs. F. busted me the other night cutting up my steak—but, I had a good excuse. Often during dinner it is my turn to be holding/wearing/otherwise attending to the baby, and often I end up with only one available hand.

Pretty damn hard to cut up my steak "by the bite" then!

I really only have the "habit" with the breakfast/syrup items, all other instances are for defensive purposes...

Mr Furious said...

"I especially do this when buying a newspaper or magazine, never the one on top."

Oh, yeah! The second one ain't necessarily good enough either... Magazines are my job, so I search out the most pristine, squarely trimmed, etc copy in the stack.

Mrs. Furious said...

"I really only have the "habit" with the breakfast/syrup items, all other instances are for defensive purposes..."

That is bullshit! You have been cutting up all your food since the day we met! Eating with you is like eating in a nursing home!

Otto Man said...

Alright, I've been shamed and the post is up.

Mr Furious said...

Nicely done, my friend.

S.W. Anderson said...

Mrs. Furious, one of my close high school friends (now deceased, sad to say) had a much worse eating habit. He had taken mama's reminders to eat slowly and chew thoroughly to heart as a kid and did just that as a teenager.

An order of fries yours truly would mow through in four or five minutes could take my slow-eating friend 20 minutes or more. Steak and baked potato? Bring a good book. No kidding.

Remember, things could always be worse.