Daily Awesome

Working on a project at work, and I wanted to confirm using the term "The Old Country" in reference to Europe... Google led me to this.

Daily Awesome

Jon Stewart on Helen Thomas and South Carolina. Brilliant.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Thank You, South Carolina - The Race to Replace Disgrace
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He's Coming!

It's the day after Easter, and you know what that means...

A Special Kind of Prima Donna

It's long been the rumor that the reason Alex Rodriguez didn't click with his "lunchpail" Yankee teammates was that he was to much of an egomaniac...a prima donna...metrosexual...self-obsessed with his own stats...what have you. And that's not even getting into his planeloads of money.

I can absolutely understand why workaday stiffs like Jeter would come back to the locker room from another magazine shoot or marketing meeting for his perfume, and look across at A-Rod and think, "What's with that guy?"

A-Rod's been his own worst enemy in many cases over the years: making stupid comments; that Details shoot; sleeping with Mandonna...but a small story that slipped out during the World Series really puts Mr. Rod in perspective...

He has paintings of himself as mythical creatures. A centaur to be specific.

Yes. You read that right.

"He was so vain," his ex tells Us Weekly. "He had not one, but two painted portraits of himself as a centaur. You know, the half man, half horse figure?"

Loved this response from The Superficial:

If it's a horse's upper body with A-Rod's legs, that man just won my respect for life. I don't care if he fucked Madonna, you can't deny that level of badass. The closest I ever came was commissioning a painting of a bear with my entire body as his left arm. That mountain lion it was fighting didn't know what the fuck.

Statistics Don't Lie

Guess where I'm going this morning... and, guess what I did last night?

Chryon Shame

These are awesome.

Buzzfeed compiles 21 newsfeed/caption blunders.



[h/t Sullivan]

Happy Anniversary

Five years ago (give or take a week) Jon Stewart went on Crossfire and made the children cry. The other night he went after what remains of CNN. Behold:


CNN Leaves It There

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"Pinch-hitting for Jon Stewart..."

Since the Daily Show is on hiatus, this will have to do...


Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?

Via John Cole, who is right—it so accurately nails the current media discourse, you don't know whether to laugh or weep.

This Guy Gets Pissed About EVERYTHING

Another installment of Hitler Subtitle Theatre...



Alas, to my eternal art direction shame I once used Zapf Chancery ALL-CAPS. It was on a theater poster in college...the play was “AS YOU LIKE IT.”

The fact that Parker Posey was in that play only compounds my sin—it would make it something interesting to hang the wall, but it’s so damn ugly!

[h/t Pandagon]

Greenville, S.C., May 13, 2009, 5:30 p.m. EST

I saw Grampa Simpson at Whole Foods.

I had a full cart of groceries, so I let this elderly gentleman go ahead of me with his plate of hot buffet food—and his plastic bag of cookies tied to his belt!

Seriously. This guy was buying two cookies from the bakery case, and he tied the bag to his belt. He made sure the cashier saw them and paid for them, then he joined his wife in a booth and sat down to eat.

Five minutes later, as I walked out of the store, the cookies were sitting on the bench next to him, still tied to his belt.

Easter's Over—Watch Your Back!

It's the day after Easter, and you know what that means...



Best. YouTube. Ever.

Happy Thanksgiving

Best. Holiday. Movie. Ever.



[h/t Cesca]

UPDATE: Though even "PT&A" would be a bit dicey at times for little kids, do you think there's anything remotely family-oriented available to watch on Thanksgiving Day? Not even close. I don't want to get all Tipper Gore on your ass, but what team of jackasses is in charge of programming for all the network and cable channels? Which all-day marathon should my 2 and 6 year old daughters and my nieces watch? "The Closer", "CSI:NY", "Plastic Surgery: Before and After", The Godfather films, "House", or "Lock-Up: Raw"? Seriously, those are running all day long? WTF?

Best. YouTube. Ever.

Brilliant.



Thanks, I really needed that.

[h/t Sullivan]

Line of the Day

If Sarah Palin’s $150,000 wardrobe had a life of its own, it would [still] get a tax cut from President Obama.

[via TPM]

I hope to see something like this in the next Obama and/or Biden speeches.

New Rules

by August J. Pollock, via Cole. Click to embiggen.

Lazy Saturday —> Rip Off Ezra —> Post

Word of the Day

Palintology: n. The act of digging into a person's background after you select them for a position of great political importance.

[h/t Toast]

Obama's REAL Birth Certificate Located...

Click to embiggen...



The best part? I'll probably get this as an email from my wingnut uncle tomorrow.

[h/t: Jesse at Pandagon. His triumphant return is the best thing to happen to the internets all year.]

The Truth About Barack Obama

Shamelessly lifted straight from Slate.com. (Don't sue me, Kinsley)

The Barack Obama presidential campaign introduced a new site last week, FightTheSmears.com, that it hopes will debunk persistent myths about the senator: that he's a Muslim, that he won't say the Pledge of Allegiance, etc. As we have argued before, restating the myths often reinforces them, no matter how persuasively they've been refuted.

Rather than restate untruths about Obama, the campaign would do better to start some rumors of its own. Here's a template e-mail the Obama campaign might consider disseminating.

From: [Redacted]
To: [Redacted]
Subject: WHO IS BARACK OBAMA?

There are many things people do not know about BARACK OBAMA. It is every American's duty to read this message and pass it along to all of their friends and loved ones.

Barack Obama wears a FLAG PIN at all times. Even in the shower.

Barack Obama says the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE every time he sees an American flag. He also ends every sentence by saying, "WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL."

A tape exists of Michelle Obama saying the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE at a conference on PATRIOTISM.

Every weekend, Barack and Michelle take their daughters HUNTING.

Barack Obama is a PATRIOTIC AMERICAN. He has one HAND over his HEART at all times. He occasionally switches when one arm gets tired, which is almost never because he is STRONG.

Barack Obama has the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE tattooed on his stomach. It's upside-down, so he can read it while doing sit-ups.

There's only one artist on Barack Obama's iPod: FRANCIS SCOTT KEY.

Barack Obama is a DEVOUT CHRISTIAN. His favorite book is the BIBLE, which he has memorized. His name means HE WHO LOVES JESUS in the ancient language of Aramaic. He is PROUD that Jesus was an American.

Barack Obama goes to church every morning. He goes to church every afternoon. He goes to church every evening. He is IN CHURCH RIGHT NOW.

Barack Obama's new airplane includes a conference room, a kitchen, and a MEGACHURCH.

Barack Obama's skin is the color of AMERICAN SOIL.

Barack Obama buys AMERICAN STUFF. He owns a FORD, a BASEBALL TEAM, and a COMPUTER HE BUILT HIMSELF FROM AMERICAN PARTS. He travels mostly by FORKLIFT.

Barack Obama says that Americans cling to GUNS and RELIGION because they are AWESOME.

[h/t Toast]

"And there were war profiteers giving three cheers..."

This is pretty funny. Be sure to "flip" through the preview pages...and pay close attention to the stuff in the room. I've spent quite a bit of time with the original book the last few years, and I really appreciate the details...