Thursday, May 14, 2009

Greenville, S.C., May 13, 2009, 5:30 p.m. EST

I saw Grampa Simpson at Whole Foods.

I had a full cart of groceries, so I let this elderly gentleman go ahead of me with his plate of hot buffet food—and his plastic bag of cookies tied to his belt!

Seriously. This guy was buying two cookies from the bakery case, and he tied the bag to his belt. He made sure the cashier saw them and paid for them, then he joined his wife in a booth and sat down to eat.

Five minutes later, as I walked out of the store, the cookies were sitting on the bench next to him, still tied to his belt.


Rickey Henderson said...

Look, when you get old, pants pockets become a bewildering and terrifying death trap. When Rickey's 83 do you really think he's going to go fishing in his pockets with his arthritic hands for his AARP card, or dentures or wrinkly sagging old balls? Fuck no, this plastic bag tied to the pants idea is absolutely the way to go. Rickey's 29 and he's now planning on instituting this tomorrow.

steves said...

Sounds like some kind of poor man's fanny pack.