Volvo Builds Sentient Car

That's the only way I can explain the fact that my car gave me six unrelated warning displays* on the way to work today before dying in the middle of the road.

Bastard car knew I was about to trade it in.

I decided last week that the Swedish incarnation of the Furiousmobile would not be coming South with me. I even had my eye on couple of sweet Mini Coopers...if things weren't so damn busy I would already have driven into Detroit and traded in in.

Now I have to pay $$$ to get it roadworthy again before I can sell/trade it, and I prefer NOT to bike to work when it's 75 and humid at 8 a.m.

*Six unrelated warning displays = giant middle finger.

General, Motors

Coach Bob Knight abruptly retired from coaching last night. Always classy, Knight bailed on his Texas Tech team in midseason right at a crucial stretch heading towards the tournament.

The winningest coach in history, Knight is credited with developing the motion offense and is acknowledged as one of the great coaches of all time. Oh, and he was a hall of fame asshole as well.

Watch out for flying chairs, clubs and obcenities if you're on the golf course in Indiana...



Deadspin's Will Leitch has a good "tribute."

John Feinstein on Knight on NPR this morning.

"Aaahhhgg! Mutherfu..."

That has been the number one thing coming out of my mouth as I too have been crippled with the same mysterious hand pain as Mrs. F today. It happened to me this morning while simply reaching for the baby sling (carrier) off the coat rack.

Me: "Aaaahhhhowwwwww!"
Mrs. F: "What's wrong?"
Me: "My hand. I was just reachin--"
Mrs. F, finishes the sentence, "...up like this? And it hurts in here...?"
Me: "Yeah. Is this what you have? Oh, shit."

Mrs. F said it feels like her hand is broken. It doesn't. I broke my hand two years ago. This is worse.

There's never been much question who around here is the stoic and who is the pussy...and let me just say, I have a new respect for Mrs. F after today.

It seems we have the exact same situation with the radiating pain in the thumb/forefinger area, that just kills with one false move. Caused by a pinched nerve in the shoulder, to which I am assigning blame to that fucking Baby Sling.

How else would we each have the same freak nerve injury?

Piece of shit.

I hope this is better tomorrow. Mrs. F's had it for days at a time before, and I might be too big a wimp to handle that...


If I could make a fist, I'd knock that smile off your face Sling-Lady...

Good Morning!

What's Wrong With This Picture?



I mean besides the fact that we have a bunch of crap spilling out of the garage and that Joe needs to clean his gutters...Look closely...

Anything missing? Like my fucking CAR!!! Yes, folks this is the view that greeted me this morning at dog-walking time. "Hmm, did I park around the corner? Did somebody bor—" Looks down and sees this (hint: it's not mine)...



"Somebody stole my fucking car."

Right from the fucking driveway. And look closely, the door to Mrs. F's car is slightly ajar, they were in there as well...which is almost more disturbing to me than my car being gone. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Didn't happen when we gone on our trip, it happened with all of us home, asleep in the house. When we were gone the car was locked and the keys were in the house.

Of course, the degree of theft difficulty was lessened by the fact that last night, the car was NOT locked, and the keys...were...on...the...seat...

It's true, this is not uncommon in the Furious household. We often leave the keys in the cars. If we are parked alongside the house (ie: not in back by the garage, closer to the street) we are pretty adamant about locking and/or bringing the keys inside. But back there? It's like the "green zone"... At least they didn't get a house key too. Because there isn't one on my key chain. Because we don't always lock the house...

Fuck that. It's going to be Fort Fucking Knox around here now. Those stupid creaky garage doors that hardly open and close? Adios. Getting replaced or re-sprung, with openers installed. New locks all around on the house too. Post haste.

As for me? I'm not even sure what to think about all of this. You'd think I'd be all Derek Vineyard about it, but I'm not. I haven't had the car long enough to be too attached too it, and my anger is mitigated somewhat by the feeling of sheepish stupidity for having left the keys in the car. But somebody DID sneak up my driveway and violate our space. Taking away one of our most valuable and personal possessions. So, no, I am not happy this morning. To say the least.

And it had twenty fucking gallons of gas in it too. Fuck.

UPDATE: Car recovered (see comments).

I Got Nothin' On this Guy...

Warning: NSFW



[h/t Fridge]

#!@%@$!

Sully is really coming through with the YouTube clips lately. He points out this funny Bud Light commercial that, as a guy who hardly watches any tv, is new to me. Serious question: Do they really show this on tv?

Of course, there's always the classic...