Friday, June 16, 2006

Dick of the Week: It's an Upset!

A complete dark horse came out of nowhere to take it. Sure Arlen Spector took a crap on the Constitution, and all the others are worthy candidates—Bush can have this any week he really wants it—but you gotta give it to the one-hit wonder.

BRUCE WILLIS DECKS PHOTOGRAPHER
[link] Photographer Anthony Goodrich claims Willis showed up at the popular restaurant -- where stars are known to frequent and paparazzi camp out -- and was making his way inside when Willis "stiff-armed" him, striking the lens of his camera, pushing it into his face. Goodrich says the impact broke the skin on his nose and chipped a tooth.

[...] TMZ obtained a copy of a police report Goodrich filed today at the Hollywood division of LAPD, alleging battery. Before filing the report, Goodrich went to St. Anthony Medical Center in Los Angeles.

TMZ spoke with Goodrich after he filed the police report. "Basically he smashed my camera into my face ... for no reason at all," Goodrich said. "All I was doing was taking his picture. I didn't say one word. I didn't get in his way."

Watch this video of the guy outside the police station laying out what happened. It looks bad for Willis...

So Bruce Willis is the Dick of the Week? Say it ain't so!

It ain't so! The Dick of the Week is this pansy-ass paparazzi photographer who makes a living tomenting people, who is clearly seeing dollar signs in pretending Bruce Willis pulled a Sean Penn on him.

There's one problem. There's video of the incident, and it's pretty clearly an accident, Willis bumps into the guy in the crush outside the restaurant, and even pauses to apologize and, seemingly, to ask the guy if he's okay. Watch it here.

The guy seems completely unfazed and uninjured, yet moments later is claiming, "Bruce Willis just hit me in the mouth, that's what happened!" He is so seriously injured that he hangs around outside the restaurant for the duration of Willis' meal so he can harrass him once again on the way out. then he scurries across the street, jumps in his freaking Cabrio, and runs home to cry. And call his lawyer. And his mommy.

Bruce Willis would now be justified giving this Flavor Flav pussy a little "Butch in the Pawn Shop" treatment.

Your Dick of the Week: Anthony Goodrich. Anthony, your fifteen minutes are over.


[h/t The Superficial]

3 comments:

Mike said...

Fantastic.

A surprise dick of the week, and a fun little narrative arc setting it all up.

Furious . . . this may be your finest work yet. ;-)

Innocent VIctim # 137 said...

Anthony Goodrich is a lying stealing drug dealing piece of shit . He will fuck any woman he will even suck a cock if it will get him a picture or a bag of weed . He makes up stories and goes out of his way to ruin the lives of innocent people ... and his victim list gets longer every day . This slimy little frack head coward is going to get what he deserves one of these days . I'm sure of it !

Unknown said...

I know Anthony Goodrich to be a good friend.Notice his haters do not use their real name?