March Meh-ness Update

So much for doing my bracket cold...

I entered the Sweet Sixteen with only six teams remaining. I am down to 454th place out of 467 entrants in my pool. The person who comes in last gets their $5 back, and I am left hoping to snag that fin away from a two-year-old. (Yes, the person currently last is a child. There are several OTHER children kicking my ass).

Dick(s) of the Week: Lubbock Airport TSA

Fucking outrageous.

Traveler says she was forced to remove nipple ring

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- A Texas woman who said she was forced to remove a nipple ring with pliers in order to board an airplane called Thursday for an apology by federal security agents and a civil rights investigation.

[...] Hamlin, 37, said she was trying to board a flight from Lubbock to Dallas on February 24 when she was scanned by a Transportation Security Administration agent after passing through a larger metal detector without problems.

The female TSA agent used a handheld detector that beeped when it passed in front of Hamlin's chest, the Dallas-area resident said.

Hamlin said she told the woman she was wearing nipple piercings. The agent called over her male colleagues, one of whom said she would have to remove the jewelry, Hamlin said.

Hamlin said she could not remove them and asked whether she could instead display her pierced breasts in private to the female agent. But several other male officers told her she could not board her flight until the jewelry was out, she said.

She was taken behind a curtain and managed to remove one bar-shaped piercing but had trouble with the second, a ring.

"Still crying, she informed the TSA officer that she could not remove it without the help of pliers, and the officer gave a pair to her," said Hamlin's attorney...

She said she heard male TSA agents snickering as she took out the ring. She was scanned again and was allowed to board even though she still was wearing a belly button ring.

[...] TSA officials said they are investigating whether the agency's policies were followed.

Unless her nipple was pierced with a functioning handgun, this action by the TSA is complete bullshit.

Setting off a detector is cause for a more thorough inspection, a hand/wand detector, a (same-sex) pat-down, and finally a same-sex visual inspection if needed. Once the metal "threat" was identified as a piercing, she should have been thanked for cooperating, apologized to for the inconvenience and sent on her way.

Seems clear to me that "policies were violated." Offering an opportunity to remove piercings in private to forgo a pat-down is the policy. Forcibly removing piercings already identified and established is not. Those sadists need to be fired, and this woman should sue the fucking pants off the TSA.

More and Better Democrats

Scott Kleeb is a 32-year-old history teacher and rancher running an upstart campaign for the Senate seat being vacated by Chuck Hagel (R-NE). He will face a primary with businessman Tony Raimondo, who initially joined the race as a Republican but is now running as a Democrat.

Um, a 68 year old wealthy businessman DINO or a young cowboy running a grassroots campaign? Read this guy's bio—he rocks! The choice is pretty clear to me.

Kleeb announced his run and asked for submissions for his logo last month (dammit! I saw that, and forgot all about it!). Well, the response was apparently overwhelming, and they've narrowed it down to the Final Four and are asking for a vote.

They are all pretty good. Vote for a logo here, and throw him a few bucks if your credit card is still out from your Obama donation...

UPDATE: More on Kleeb's primary opponent...Raimondo was on Bush's short list for "manufacturing czar", he is supported by noted turncoat Sen. Ben Nelson, and he relocated one of his Nebraska factories to China. Fuck that guy.

Read this and draw your own parallels...

For months it appeared no Democrat would run against Republican heavyweight Mike Johanns, but suddenly there's two. Columbus businessman Tony Raimondo's been running for two weeks, and now Scott Kleeb's in.

Action 3 News asked Kleeb why he thinks he can beat Mike Johanns, the leading Republican candidate. "People are frustrated with the status quo," Kleeb says. "He's not been able to get a farm bill through. That is critical to Nebraska. He's not been able to address food safety issues."

"Mike has been in government for 25 years," Raimondo points out. "I've been making change. I've been creating jobs."

The 32-year-old Kleeb, who touts his cowboy roots, has become a "young gun Democrat dream." He came out of nowhere two years ago, ran hard for Congress, but came up short in heavily Republican Nebraska.

On the other hand, until he switched parties in December, the 68-year-old Raimondo was a lifelong Republican. Even Johanns couldn't believe the switch. "He's a Republican," Johanns says. "He's supported Republicans."

Raimondo admits he wanted to run Republican, but didn't, claiming Johanns had the party's inside track. "He didn't think he could beat Mike Johanns in a Republican primary," Kleeb says. "He needs to say why he thinks he can beat Mike Johanns as a Democrat."

"Scott comes out of education. I come out of business. What has business had to do with the last two decades," Raimondo asks. "Change. Change. Change."

Democrats insist this Raimondo Kleeb battle will make the winner stronger and better prepared to take on Johanns in the fall. Meanwhile, Johanns can save his money and hope for a bloody Democrat fight.

Apparently Raimondo hasn't updated his campaign website since he began his run as a Republican. The word Democrat appears nowhere on the site. Yeah, I want to pick up seats this fall, but not with guys like this.

UPDATE 2: Kleeb has me fired up to challenge Stabenow...too bad I'm a combination of total introvert and loose cannon...

Easter Begins

The Prequel. Why he hates.

(Not as good as the original, which is here. And should be watched first...)

America-Hater

I had a hunch...

In the early 1960s, at a time when many young people were being radicalized by the Vietnam War, Wright left college and volunteered to join the United States Marine Corps. After three years as a marine, he chose to serve three more as a naval medical technician, during which time he received several White House commendations.

Six fucking years serving his country! By choice!

I hadn't seen specifics on this, but I suspected that Wright had volunteered to join the Marines based on his age and service time. Now I have confirmation. That's from a lengthy defense of Wright in The Chronicle of Higher Ed by a Professor Emeritus from the University of Chicago Divinity School.

Just remember this the next time you hear some GOP fucktard or FOX News blowhard call Wright an unpatriotic, America-hating traitor. And do so with the absolute certainty that the loudmouth doing the insulting did no such thing.

Dear Jay...

[via Shakes] Last week on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno challenged Ryan Phillippe to do a little impromptu acting...

he asked the actor to look into the camera, pretend it was his "gay lover…Billy Bob," who "has just ridden in shirtless from Wyoming (still milking the Brokeback jokes, I guess), and give it his "gayest look."

Phillippe responded, incredulously, "Wow. That is so something I don't want to do."

Phillippe declined, but I won't...How's this, Jay?



Visit the link to see the "gayest looks for Jay Leno" from across the universe...

Good Question...

Are health insurance mandates constitutional? They are certainly unprecedented. The federal government does not ordinarily require Americans to purchase particular goods or services from private parties.

Op-Ed in the Christian Science Monitor [h/t: Sullivan]

The Pastor of Disaster

Yesterday, Hillary Clinton happily took the exit ramp marked "Low Road" when she sat down at a table with Richard Mellon Scaife (think Vito Corleone to Rush Limbaugh's Sonny) to put out a hit on Obama by wallowing straight into the Rev. Wright Controversy.

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, in a wide-ranging interview today with Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reporters and editors, said she would have left her church if her pastor made the sort of inflammatory remarks Sen. Barack Obama’s former pastor made.

“He would not have been my pastor,” Clinton said. “You don’t choose your family, but you choose what church you want to attend.” […]

The Clinton campaign has refrained from getting involved in the controversy, but Clinton herself, responding to a question, denounced what she said was “hate speech.”

We're past kitchen sink territory, Clinton is now throwing Sub-Zero commericial appliances. After commendably passing on this controversy for over a week, Hillary, faced with a p.r. catastrophe of her own making, got desperate enough to pick open a scab that had just begun to heal.

But since she brought up a hypothetical "not-my-pastor" perhaps it's worth considering the opinion of the man who actually IS Hillary's pastor:

"The Reverend Jeremiah Wright is an outstanding church leader whom I have heard speak a number of times. He has served for decades as a profound voice for justice and inclusion in our society. He has been a vocal critic of the racism, sexism and homophobia which still tarnish the American dream. To evaluate his dynamic ministry on the basis of two or three sound bites does a grave injustice to Dr. Wright, the members of his congregation, and the African-American church which has been the spiritual refuge of a people that has suffered from discrimination, disadvantage, and violence. Dr. Wright, a member of an integrated denomination, has been an agent of racial reconciliation while proclaiming perceptions and truths uncomfortable for some white people to hear. Those of us who are white Americans would do well to listen carefully to Dr. Wright rather than to use a few of his quotes to polarize. This is a critical time in America's history as we seek to repent of our racism. No matter which candidates prevail, let us use this time to listen again to one another and not to distort one another's truth," - Dean J. Snyder, Foundry United Methodist Church, March 19, 2008.

Perhaps Hillary should shop for a new church, as hers obviously supports "hate speech" just like Obama.

Modern Marvels

Condé Nast Traveler has looked at the year's best modern architecture and selected their "New Seven Wonders of the World."

It definitely seems like swooping amorphous shapes are all the rage. I think I like the Fortress of Solitude-like addition to the Royal Ontario Museum (above) the best. It's no surprise that one of the selections is in Dubai...that place is crazy.

Salute Your Solution

The first single/video off the new Raconteurs album...



Hoping this is the "Broken Boy Soldier" (aka: weak-link track I skip). UPDATE: Already growing on me. Great riff. But I've been listening to more solo Brendan Benson than White Stripes lately, so I'm hoping for some more "Level"-style harmonies from the rest of the album—NOT a Jack White vehicle. Full review to follow.

Think of this song as the Toast-buffer. There's no way he likes this, and he can go straight to the Jack-bashing.

It's Not Personal. It's Physics

in·er·tia (ĭ-nûr'shə) n.
1. Physics The tendency of a body in straight line motion to stay in motion in a straight line unless acted on by an outside force.
2. Resistance or disinclination to motion, action, or change: the inertia of an entrenched bureaucracy.

David Brooks hits upon this in his column "The Long Defeat" today. Every once in a long while, Brooks gets something right.

[...] Clinton’s long rear-guard action is the logical extension of her relentlessly political life.

For nearly 20 years, she has been encased in the apparatus of political celebrity. Look at her schedule as first lady and ever since. Think of the thousands of staged events, the tens of thousands of times she has pretended to be delighted to see someone she doesn’t know, the hundreds of thousands times she has recited empty clichés and exhortatory banalities, the millions of photos she has posed for in which she is supposed to appear empathetic or tough, the billions of politically opportune half-truths that have bounced around her head.

No wonder the Clinton campaign feels impersonal. It’s like a machine for the production of politics. It plows ahead from event to event following its own iron logic. The only question is whether Clinton herself can step outside the apparatus long enough to turn it off and withdraw voluntarily or whether she will force the rest of her party to intervene and jam the gears.

Is it physics as much as anything? The Clintons have been building towards this race since they decided to move to NY and audition Hillary for Senator. This campaign is ten years in the making and every move, every decision, has been part of this goal—each step adding yet another car to this massive, moving train.

Maybe it just can't stop on a dime.

If a Baseball Season Opens Early in Japan...

...does it make a sound?


Last night (this morning? tomorrow?) in Tokyo, the Sox beat the A's in extra innings to win the first game of the 2008 baseball season. Manny provided the offense (4 RBI) and the big hit, and Jacoby the big leather...I'm looking forward to a season of that.

Kyle Snyder gave up a crucial home run and Varitek packed his sombrero for the trip—NOT looking forward to a season of that.

Oh, and welcome back to the majors Keith Foulke. The mostly unsung hero for the 2004 Sox who jeopardized his career that post-season by literally throwing his arm apart, resumed his career with Oakland, and retired the side.

Duck and Cover

I have nothing to add to what Olbermann and Alter have to say here except to wonder how the hell the complete disintegration of Hillary's "resumé of experience" isn't the final nail in her campaign? The dissection gets really good after the 5:00 mark. Alter just goes down a list of substantive lies on everythin from SCHIP to Ireland. I mean, seriously. She made all this shit up. And in this case, visibly, got caught. On video. Twelve-year-old video. Yet the campaign lives on.

Stop complaining about media bias, Hillary. Anybody else would have been buried weeks ago.

Easter's Over—Watch Your Back!

It's the day after Easter, and you know what that means...



Still my favorite YouTube video ever...

4x4 Meme

4 jobs I've had: McDonalds (I did everything), car detailer, busboy, art director (current)

4 TV shows I watch: I seriously don't watch any television anymore. If I did it would be The Daily Show, Colbert, 30 Rock, and, um...The Shield. Is that still on?

4 places I have been: Texas, Brussels, Montreal, Bermuda

4 foods I like: donuts (my most serious food vice), pork tenderloin, beans and spaetzel, white grapefruit

--

4 people I tag: Mrs F, Deb, Rickey, Smitty

In the Wright Context

You'll likely NEVER see these extended clips on television because it would really undermine the week-long conniption fit that everyone has had over the remarks of Reverend Jeremiah Wright, and make plenty of media-types look like jackasses.

It also requires patience, open-mindedness, self-reflection and pretty much everything our current culture rejects...

Take the five or so minutes each it takes to watch these clips, so you understand the context of the snips that the media has been shoving down your throat.

The now-infamous "God DAMN America!" Sermon:



Wright spends several minutes talking about the fact that God does not change, then contrasts with the rise and fall (the "failure") of man's empires through history. He then gets to America, and lists the litany of, yes, damnable actions of the American government—which Wright acknowledges DOES change, for better and for worse—and concludes with the preposterous notion that America's oppressed people should sing "God Bless America" by invoking his now infamous line...Can't say I blame him, or that I disagree.

Post-9/11 "Chickens Come Home to Roost" sermon



Will anybody point out that the words Wright is getting pilloried for are those of a white, Reagan-era Ambassador on FOX News? Yeah, that's what I thought...

After watching these clips, I'll say this. Wright is fucking electric. He's a damn good preacher if you're into that sort of thing. Is he over the top? Yeah. Does he subscribe to a little too much conspiracy theory? Probably. But I don't think he said anything that out of bounds, or even incorrect. I'm glad Obama stuck by him to the degree he did, and in fact, I think he might have been too hard on him.

While I'd like to see Wright's name and reputation cleared, and for Obama to continue to support the man and the church, the unfortunate truth is, the sooner this goes away the better for Obama. Adding context will do nothing to convince a great many Americans who cannot handle the truth, self-introspection or brook ANY criticism of the country. The five-minute critique is the same as the five-second clip—Wright hates America.

If this trumped-up bullshit is the thing that costs us a President Obama and gives us George W. McCain, then God Damn America, indeed.


[h/t: laderrick's diary at Kos]

UPDATE: For more "context" please read this post from Hilzoy at Obsidian Wings. Rev. Wright was the same age as Emmett Till. Yeah, I can see how that might have an influence on someone...

Worst. Cops. Ever.

This is ridiculous almost to the point of unbelievability. I kept waiting for the Onion News Network anchor to come on. If Michael "Heckuva Job" Brown ran the Minsk Road Police...



[h/t The Agitator]

March Meh-ness

For the first time in I can't remember how long, I am not doing an NCAA bracket. I haven't watched a single game all year, and don't have a clue about college hoops this season beyond the fact that Bob Knight* retired.

On the one hand that puts me at the advantage of ignorance enjoyed by receptionists and accounting nerds everywhere who win office pools by picking games by mascots or random chance—but I can't even summon the energy to do anything close to due diligence to fill out a bracket. And I can't rightly enter into a pool with the competitive likes of Toast's Crew or my long-time traditional pool populated by actual ESPN professionals and other sports-obsessed maniacs without making an effort to protect my pride and hard-earned reputation.

Better to lay low...

* an event marked here, but unacknowledged in the comments despite the hilarious video [link]...

UPDATE: Fuck it. I relented. Here's my bracket I got into the pool just in time.

Dave Grohl: Lead Vocals and Vice President

In the latest issue of Harp, Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl announces his independent run for the presidency. The Grohl platform:

On drugs: I'm just going to come clean, I have inhaled bags of 'shrooms. I haven't done drugs for the past 20 years, to be really honest. I've smoked, fuck, like six hits off a joint in the last 20 years. I have never done cocaine, ever in my life. I have never done heroin, I have never done speed. I have had my share of acid and mushrooms and I have smoked fields of marijuana, but by the age of 20 I realized, if I don't stop now, I'll never have the chance to be the President of the United States of America.

On immigration: Let me make a musical analogy if I may: I look at America as if it were Wembley stadium—it’s only so big but you can fit a lot of people in it. As president of the United States of America, I promise to rock the fucking house—and everyone’s invited.

On getting out of Iraq: When I'm elected President, my cabinet and I would come up with an exit strategy that would involve no killing, no bloodshed, a safe return home and some sort of compensation...

On family values: You know what it takes? It takes a barbecue. I think that what the country needs now is a good, smoky barbecue—family style, at least once a week, winter months included. Every Sunday. [...] And that’s where I really get to share and learn with my family and fellow Americans. It’s around that grill. It’s two beers, it’s three beers, it’s four beers, it’s 10 beers. This is what America needs—beer, and barbecue. It’s the red, white and barbecue, there it is.

Sounds good. Call him up, Barack, get him working on those barbecues. Put Jack White, David Ortíz, George Clooney, Bono and Angelina Jolie in your cabinet and you've got every Rolling Stone and People and ESPN reader's votes locked up.

Let McCain counter with Ron Silver, Dennis Miller, Ted Nugent and Curt Schilling and see where that gets him.

[h/t Sullivan]

A More Perfect Union

Wow. Barack Obama just delivered a phenomenal speech that should more than undo the damage done by his pastor. If that guy's not ready to lead a nation, no one is.

His tone/delivery was dialed down a bit, and I'm more used to seeing him speak from the center of a crowd rather than on a stage of flags, but the words were powerful, and should speak to everyone but those that will always remain beyond his appeal.

Get with it America. Our new President is ready. Are we?

UPDATE: Text of speech

UPDATE 2: YouTube has it...



When I watched the speech live I joined at about the 3:20 mark, so I missed the early Constitution/slavery part he opened with. It seemed a bit awkward, and the fact that he points out the flaws in this country's history might be the only thing that the Right can grasp at to criticize ("But, but...America is Perfect!"). It also might make it more challenging for skeptics to get drawn in long enough for the speech to take off, which it does right at that moment when he declares he is the "son of a black man."

UPDATE 3: The rush to find the nugget or soundbite is already on, even at sites like Talking Points Memo which is disappointing. (Though, I suppose obvious when you realize the name of the site). One of the better things I've seen so far was this comment at John Cole's:

Whether he wins or not, the man has garnered my respect and admiration. That speech was not beautiful or eloquent, it was HONEST. And that, “MY FRIENDS”, is what makes all the difference. Not some trite greeting, not some BS shrilling, but an in your face, look at your country and realize that while America is great, it still has problems that need to be solved.

In this day of fake Patriotism, and loyalty tests, this man can actually get up and speak about what people really think. I don’t know if he would make a great President, but he makes me proud as an American. That someone finally has the balls to actually talk us like adults and not 10 second attention deficit disorder kids.

Mark Your Calendars...

And I JUST Filled Up!

Greeting me on my Yahoo! homepage is the following headline, so I click through...

Oil plummets on economy worries

By JOHN WILEN, AP Business Writer 2 hours, 55 minutes ago

NEW YORK - Oil prices fell sharply Monday, pulling back at least temporarily from record levels as investors feared that the financial crisis that forced the sale of Bear Stearns Cos. is a sign of deep economic troubles.

[...blah, blah, blah...]

Oil's steep decline — falling $4.17 to $106.04 a barrel on the New York Mercantile Exchange — came hours after futures rose to a new trading high of $111.80 on the Federal Reserve's surprise Sunday move to lower a key interest rate by a quarter point. In the past several months, Fed rate cuts have fueled rallies in oil prices.

When I see a headline that shouts "Oil Plummets!" I expect an actual, I don't know, decline! So, what this story actually says is that within hours of peaking at a record high it settles back to the same outrageous price it was the day before?

Gas is still 73 cents/gallon more than it was a year ago. Break the glass on the word "plummet" when we're back in that neighborhood.

Reading Assignment

Still working on my big post I mentioned yesterday, but in the meantime, go read this post by Hilzoy.

It's far better than what rattles around in my head and falls on the keyboard.

While You're Waiting...

A month or two ago, I Watch Stuff had a clip from an upcoming film called "Pineapple Express." It's the next Seth Rogan/Judd Apatow vehicle. That clip was all about smoking pot—literally, it was just two guys buying pot and getting high. As the only person alive who went to art school for five years in the late 80s without ever smoking pot, I was dubious as to how enjoyable I'd find the movie if I'm not in on the joke...

Well the new trailer is out and let's just say, I'm looking forward to it. A perfect role for Rogan, and James Franco is the best stoner since Brad Pitt's Floyd from "True Romance." Throw in Gary Cole as the bad guy and I'm sold.



An R-rated for language version of the trailer is here, and worth a couple extra laughs...

Stay Tuned

I'm baking a big-ass post, but I just stuck the toothpick in, and it's not ready to come out of the oven.