Oh. Fuck. Me.

The Yankees just got Tigers centerfielder, leadoff man, certified fucking stud player and all-around good guy Curtis Granderson for a bag of crumbled Yankee Stadium concrete and Joe Girardi's old catching gear.

Meanwhile the Sox (according to Gammons) are trying to deal Mike Lowell and decide how many of FAs Jason Bay, Matt Holliday and Adrian Beltre they should sign.

Bay's been a nice player, but he's about to get waaaay overpaid. Holliday's got NL-star/AL-bust written all over him. Pass. Beltre? If he's healthy and a bargain, fine. But those 48 HRs were a lonnnng time ago, and in the other league. Plus, Boras is his agent.

2010 is going to blow.

A Special Kind of Prima Donna

It's long been the rumor that the reason Alex Rodriguez didn't click with his "lunchpail" Yankee teammates was that he was to much of an egomaniac...a prima donna...metrosexual...self-obsessed with his own stats...what have you. And that's not even getting into his planeloads of money.

I can absolutely understand why workaday stiffs like Jeter would come back to the locker room from another magazine shoot or marketing meeting for his perfume, and look across at A-Rod and think, "What's with that guy?"

A-Rod's been his own worst enemy in many cases over the years: making stupid comments; that Details shoot; sleeping with Mandonna...but a small story that slipped out during the World Series really puts Mr. Rod in perspective...

He has paintings of himself as mythical creatures. A centaur to be specific.

Yes. You read that right.

"He was so vain," his ex tells Us Weekly. "He had not one, but two painted portraits of himself as a centaur. You know, the half man, half horse figure?"

Loved this response from The Superficial:

If it's a horse's upper body with A-Rod's legs, that man just won my respect for life. I don't care if he fucked Madonna, you can't deny that level of badass. The closest I ever came was commissioning a painting of a bear with my entire body as his left arm. That mountain lion it was fighting didn't know what the fuck.

FTFY

That is all.

Congratulations, Yankees

In celebration of New York joining the Phillies in the World Series, I bring you Esquire's list of The Most Hated Yankees by Position

Prove Me Wrong

Clay Buchholz is all that stands between the Red Sox and elimination. And he faces notorious Sox-Killer Scott Kaszmir. That's not a match-up that looks good for Boston. I said at the deadline that Buchholz was a flamethrowing talent that wasn't all there upstairs. That the Sox traded the wrong guy in Justin Masterson and should have dealt Buchholz. All Clay Buchholz did after that was go like 7-2 with an ERA of 3.00 (guessing) and make me look stupid.

Today there is a new level of pressure on him—win or go home.

Make me look stupid one more time. (And if the lineup could actually put some runs up, that might help. No need to make the kid toil in a scoreless tie for seven innings...)

UPDATE Middle of the 1st: Throwing a ball in the dirt to first allowing the runner to move up is exactly the kind of thing that would have unraveled Buchholz in the past. That he went on to take care of the Angels two most dangerous hitters after that is a very good sign. Time for the Sox to start fucking hitting.

UPDATE Postgame: Well, that wasn't exactly pretty. Though I will say, if anyone on the team was going to cough up a game, I'm glad it was Papelbon and not Buchholz or Bard. Pap has never been my favorite guy—in fact, I see exactly why fans of other teams hate him—he's a dick. Plus, I wouldn't want any of the young(er) pitchers damaged from the experience of losing the elimination game. Papelbon is an established closer, and can rebound from the loss. Buchholz and Bard can feel good about THEIR contributions yesterday, and build off it.

Baseball Update

THE TRADE
I am in favor of making big deadline trades in certain situations and the teams play over the month of July (giving up 8 games and first place to the Yankees) is certainly one of those situations. What I was never in favor of is trading away the farm for Roy Halladay. I saw no need to bring in another starter to lose a bunch of 2-1 games. The problem with this team isn't pitching—it's scoring runs.

The big hitters available (or rumored to be) were Indians 1B/C Victor Martinez and Padres 1B Adrian Gonzalez. Both were intriguing. Martinez can catch...Jason Varitek cannot hit or throw anyone out and should hang it up after this season. But he is going to be (at least) 30 and is headed into his decline years. That's a deal the Yankees make.

The guy I really wanted was Adrian Gonzalez is only 27 and is a bonafide franchise player. An excellent hitting—and fielding—first baseman. Mark Teixiera but younger and cheaper. A player about to hit his prime.

Adrian would cost more in prospects, but I don't care. The Sox farm system is deep. There are at least three starters in the minors that would be in major league rotations for almost any other team. Most Sox fans consider Clay Bucholtz off-limits. I didn't. I don't think he's as good as he seems. It might sound crazy, but with a major league no-hitter already on his resume, he is overrated. His trade value will never be higher, and I would have let him go without hesitation for the right player. No single player in the Sox system would be off-limits to bring in Gonzalez, just limiting the number of such players.

In the end, the Sox brought in Martinez, and while I think he has more downside, it IS a trade that will help. And while the Sox now have a logjam at the corners with Martinez, Lowell, Youkilis along with new addition Casey Kotchman (?!?) it should keep everyone healthy and rested down the stretch. Martinez can catch, play first and DH to keep his bat in the lineup.


BIG PAPI'S POSITIVE TEST
Am I surprised? No. Disappointed? Somewhat. But let me be clear—I'm not the typical Sox fan that thought his team was clean. The mere fact that Canseco came through the clubhouse doors for a few years—at exactly the right/wrong time—should shatter that illusion for any fan with a semi-active brain. Nomar, Mo and other contemporaries of Canseco's tenure probably all had their brush with PEDs. Do I think they went all the way down the McGwire/Bonds/Canseco growth hormone and full-on steroid cocktail regimen? Probably not. But enough evidence exists now to show that a significant number of players at least experimented with PEDs, if not relied on them. Plenty of Sox players had otherwise inexplicable career years in the late 90s and early 00s. And Nomar had one shocking off-season body transformation—shirtless SI cover, anyone?

There was a part of me that wanted to subscribe to the Sports Guy theory that contrasted Giambi and Sheffield's complex steroid abuse with Ortiz and Manny being "a couple of goofy Dominicans who between them could hardly mix up a batch of Thera-Flu."

Seems pretty naive now.

Do I think the Sox Championships are tainted? No. They won the World Series in a League full of other teams that were also all cheating. Still a level playing field in that sense. As for the outrage and pearl-clutching by the media? I say again—shut the fuck up. They, along with the League, willfully looked the other way during the explosion of PED use and abuse.

The League needs to figure out a way to just release the whole list of over a hundred players who tested positive. Selective leaks by whoever holds this thing is totally unfair, and bad for the whole group. Just get it all out and over with.

Anybody else wonder if Rickey Henderson tested positive?

UPDATE: What the fuck is up with this story?...John McCain can STFU too. Steroid scandal makes you "sick?"

A bit dusty in here...

A nice story about Jim Rice I forgot about...



Welcome to the Hall, Mr. Rice.

UPDATE: ESPN sucks, as the video became unavailable after a day or so. It was the story of Rice leaping into the stands to help a child struck by a line drive. He saved the kid's life, and watching Rice, the boy's father and the now-grown child talk about it now was pretty moving.

The Fall of John Smoltz

So tonight was the much-anticipated Red Sox debut of John Smoltz. I've always liked Smoltz and regarded him as my favorite of the Brave's "Big Three" pitchers (Maddux and Glavine the other two), and I was happy the Sox decided to take a chance on him—he's come back and been dominant after injury/surgery before.

I was shocked this morning when I glanced at an article and saw his lifetime record of 210-147. Only 210 wins? Seriously? I know he was a closer for a brief time, but I thought for sure he'd be pushing 275-300 wins. Then this evening the Red Sox radio announcer made the statement (as Smoltz gets cuffed around by the Nats) that, "Even if Smoltz's career ended right now, in five years he'll walk into the Hall of Fame."

Yesterday, I'd've blindly agreed. But after reading the 210 mark, I wasn't so sure. That's only like 10 wins a year. I need to do some research...

Right off the bat, I see Smoltz had over 150 saves as a closer—that's pretty damn good in limited duty. What else? 3000 strikeouts? Check. Cy Young? Check. 15-4 in the postseason? BUT—he only won 20 games once, and has a good, but not great, career ERA of 3.26.

Okay, I'd put him in, but I'm not sure he's a first-ballot lock. And that's when I should have stopped reading...

On the wikipedia page on Smoltz:

Smoltz produced an automated campaign phone recording on behalf of the candidacy of Ralph E. Reed, Jr. for Lt. Governor of Georgia during the 2006 primary.

[groan]

Smoltz was interviewed for an Associated Press article published on July 3, 2004 that dealt with the issue of homophobia in professional sports. “Smoltz, a devout Christian, criticized those who want to legalize gay marriage,” the AP reported. “‘What’s next? Marrying an animal?’ he asked derisively.”

Ugh. You to be one of those guys, John? You know, a dick?

All-Star Ballot

Here is my latest (second) contribution to the All-Star voting...


I paid slightly closer attention to my selections this time around, though only a few spots changed. I feel pretty good about my tapping Joe Mauer last time even though he had only returned from injury two days prior—he's only hit eleven HRs and hit .444 in the three weeks since...Jeter's out and Damon's in—though I'm not so sure about him, since he won't be facing the Sox (I swear, he's hit like 9 of his 10 HRs against Boston).

Let me go out on a limb and predict an NL victory this time out. Looking over the rosters, it just seems like the AL is fat with youngsters having hot starts, while the NL squad is filled with seasoned badasses. We'll see who's pitching and on the benches, but the starting lineups (based on my ballot) are a mismatch.

Bring It On Home

Opening Day was yesterday (stupid ESPN Sunday Night game doesn't count), but I was on deadline and the Sox were ppd, so I let it go by without swinging. Boston got things rolling Tuesday and Josh Beckett looks like his dominant self. I look forward to the first match-up against Cream Cheese Sabathia.

Sunday Link Dump

THE DOCTOR IS IN OUT
The case for Howard Dean to replace Daschle at HHS—and why it will unfortunately never happen. [h/t Ezra, who goes down the shortlist of candidates]

A-ROID
Leaked test results from MLB reveal Alex Rodriguez used steroids in his 2003 MVP season. I'll have plenty more to say about this—and shockingly it will be in defense of A-Rod. [h/t Toast]

NORM-AL
When will Norm Coleman fucking concede already? This is now beyond ridiculous.

Dick of the Week: Corky Simpson

Who the fuck is Corky Simpson and how the hell did he nab D.O.W. over Harry Reid?

Corky Simpson is a retired sportswriter. One who will henceforth be known as "The writer who didn’t vote for Rickey Henderson." Or, more generally, "the worst fucking sportswriter of all time."

Indeed, this is the first year that Rickey Henderson is on the ballot for the Hall of Fame. Henderson is arguably the greatest leadoff hitter in baseball history, and unquestionably one the best, most exciting, players in my lifetime. There should be no question that he should walk straight into the Hall of Fame, and then easily steal whichever spot he chooses for his plaque. No writer with a ballot has any reason to leave his name off. None. Not based on actual baseball anyway. But here's the thing...

No one has ever received every vote in the history of BBHoF voting. Not Babe Ruth, not Ty Cobb, not Tom Seaver, not Willie Mays, not Jackie Robinson, not Nolan Ryan, not Cal Ripken, Jr., not Cy Young.

Uh Oh. Sounds like the perfect reason for some holier than thou jackass writer to "protect the legacy" of the Hall and leave Henderson off, just to keep him from being the first unanimous selection...

But every writer was putting Henderson on their ballot, usually followed by the words “no-brainer.” Could it be done? Could Rickey make HoF history? I was getting kinda excited.

And then, I got to the ballot of the Award-Winning Corky Simpson - who, you guessed it … didn’t vote for Rickey Henderson.

So, is Simpson deliberately playing spoiler and screwing Henderson? I mean, he must be. He even voted for the extremely-poor man's Rickey—Tim Raines. Obviously he must be making a point. Maybe he's one of those dicks who won't vote for guys the first year on the ballot...nope, he voted for Matt Williams—a guy who should buy a ticket to get in. (To Simpson's credit, he DID vote for Jim Rice.)

Writers get ten slots on their ballots, and Simpson wrote eight names down—and then he submitted his ballot. With two blank slots. And no Rickey.

Amazingly, worse than the omission, is Simpson's excuse...

I screwed up on the Henderson nonvote,” said Simpson, who detailed his choices in a Dec. 10 column for the Green Valley News. “You get to vote on 10 and I only picked eight. I probably did it too quickly.”

Take away his privileges. Right. Fucking. Now.

Seriously. Only a handful of people have the authority to cast HOF ballots. They should do so with due diligence and impartiality. This fossil employed neither. Clearly I spent more time on this blog post than he did considering his HOF ballot.

There are only three possible genuine reasons for this, because the "oversight" is a load of shit. A play for attention—and he's getting it; Deliberately spoiling the unanimous induction, but not having the balls to admit it; Or racism. I can't think of anything else.

--

A list of all the HOF votes cast so far.

MORE: Deadspin, Flannel Boy, Pinto.

I came across a fantastic photo of Henderson's outstretched 1982 Oakland A's gloves hitting second, and a Bill James quote, so I combined 'em...

MLB Playoffs: Who Do I Root For When the Sox are Eliminated?

My gut feeling is that the Sox will get mowed down by the Angels. Compared to last year's Championship team, we are minus Manny, and crossing our fingers with a hobbled Beckett, Lowell and Drew. That alone should seal our fate. But the Angels are also a much better team than last year with the addition of Teixiera.

We've always seemed to have our way with the Angels, but this year they pummeled the Sox, winning eight of nine and doubling us up on the scoreboard. The Angels have a strong front three, a pesky lineup and a young Mariano closing. The Sox got great years out of Lester, Dice-K, Pedroia and Youkilis and on paper I even like the match-ups, but as a team they just haven't been consistent.

I fear the Angels win in 4.

--

So then what? In the AL, I am pulling for the Rays all the way. These aren't the punk Gerald Williams/Canseco douchebag Devil Rays, this is a dynamic team of young players that have put it all together. Worst to first is too good a story to pass up, and I HATE the Ozzie Guillen ChiSox. Go Rays!

And in the NL, I gotta go with my man Manny. I love the fact that he pushed this Dodger team over the top, and a chance for his redemption coupled with Torre outlasting the Yanks plus former Sox faves Lowe and Nomar in supporting roles, choosing an NL team is easy for me.

Still the Man-ny

[Yeah, this is old news, but I'm still putting it up. I wrote most of this at the trade deadline, and never had a chance to finish it.]


(AP Photo/Elise Amendola)

Let's get this right out there. I am a Manny fan. Even going into this season's annual "Manny wants to be traded/the Sox want to trade Manny" soap opera, I was firmly on the side of keeping the right-handed half of the best one-two punch in baseball—even if neither Manny not Papi were quite living up to their own reputations this season. Ramirez is clearly still an impact player.

Frankly, I love having the guy on the Sox. The dreds and uni pants cut like too-big jeans? The Grill? Hilarious. I love "Manny being Manny."

His detractors? The vast majority of fans and radio people in Boston are jackasses, and give Manny WAAY more shit than he deserves, and appreciate him far less than he has earned. He has put together a dominant Hall of Fame career in Boston and won TWO FUCKING CHAMPIONSHIPS after an eighty-year drought. All he gets in return is grief. Well, that and $20 million a year.

In Boston, if you are a fiery white guy with a grimy helmet, all you have to do is lace 'em up. (see: Youkilis, Kevin; Nixon, Trot; Pedroia, Dustin). Strike out with the bases loaded? Just throw your shit around the dugout, all is forgiven. Ground into a double play? Bounce your helmet into the fifth row.

If you are reserved or stoic, you get killed (see: Drew, J.D.) And if you are flaky or have a big contract, you better not be a minority.

I think it is unquestionable that race plays a factor in Boston, no matter how much they want to pretend otherwise. Manny got NO credit for the fact that he worked fucking hard to be one of the best two or three right-handed hitters of his generation. He is a first-ballot HOFer—yet Peter Gammons (!!) attempted to throw that aside last night, likening Manny's mercurial attitude to fucking steroid use, and should give voters something to consider. That's a fucking OUTRAGE.

And it would NEVER have been uttered about a white player.

Manny's hitting prowess commonly was tossed off as some kind of "savant" skill that comes naturally to him without effort—as if he could just roll out of bed and hit .320 /40/ 140. That's bullshit. Any time he periodically fell short of his own lofty standard, it was because "he didn't care" or "wasn't trying." That's fucking crap. Manny is on the wrong side of 35. His bat is slower. His body is susceptible to things that don't show up on the MRI. He won't maintain that pace over a season. He is declining as a player because of age and mileage—not a lackadaisical attitude.

Again, white guys are good through grit and determination, guys like Manny are "naturals" and gifted.

Manny was a student of the game and worked every bit as hard as Ted Williams. No one watched more video or studied the pitchers more than Manny. What's more, no one has ever accused Manny of using PEDs. I'm always reminded of Bill Simmons excellent line contrasting Giambi and Sheffield's complex steroid abuse with Ortiz and Manny being "a couple of goofy Dominicans who between them could hardly mix up a batch of Thera-Flu."

* Manny played the game clean, with enthusiasm much of the time, and in the face of a fan base that never really appreciated what he gave them. They took it for granted to be sure, but never truly appreciated it. On top of that was a GM and ownership team that repeatedly tried to trade him and never gave him any respect (he preceded them in Boston). Considering this love/hate scenario, it's no wonder this deadline dance occured every year. Despite that Manny still produced and brought home the hardware.

This season it seems the relationship was totally poisoned in Boston, and a deal was the only real solution. I can live with that, and, in retrospect I like the trade—we got a good young player back. Both Jason Bay and Manny are thriving in their new environs and I always like to see that. Here's hoping Manny carries the Dodgers to the post-season, and the Sox don't suffer without him.

Thanks, Manuel Aristides Ramírez Onelcida, for being the best clean-up hitter the Sox ever had. Thanks for two World Championships, and thanks for being Manny, Manny. Good luck in L.A.

*Edited to clean up the awkward transition where I picked up the post after a week.

MORE: Fellow Manny-Men and far better writers than I, Charlie Pierce (here and here) and Chad Finn (here and here) pay tribute.

To Do List

Gotta start watching this show...

Manny Being Manny

How do you not love this guy? Even you Yanks fans...



Missing from that clip is this play where Manny robs an Oriole of extra bases, climbs the wall, high-fives a fan in the bleachers and then doubles up the runner at first all in stride...Ridiculous.

[h/t Crank]

Welcome Back

Even haters have to admit that was pretty damn moving when you consider what that guy's life's been like for the last twenty years. Bill Buckner was an extremely good player and a class act and never deserved what he and his family had to go through.

Excuse me, there's something in my eye...

If a Baseball Season Opens Early in Japan...

...does it make a sound?


Last night (this morning? tomorrow?) in Tokyo, the Sox beat the A's in extra innings to win the first game of the 2008 baseball season. Manny provided the offense (4 RBI) and the big hit, and Jacoby the big leather...I'm looking forward to a season of that.

Kyle Snyder gave up a crucial home run and Varitek packed his sombrero for the trip—NOT looking forward to a season of that.

Oh, and welcome back to the majors Keith Foulke. The mostly unsung hero for the 2004 Sox who jeopardized his career that post-season by literally throwing his arm apart, resumed his career with Oakland, and retired the side.

Miscellany

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Tacoby Bellsbury

You better believe I was collecting on the free taco. Thanks Jacoby!