Saturday, October 18, 2008
People in Asheville do not know how to drive.
Specifically? They don't follow some key universal laws of the road—such as:
1. When there is a fire truck coming down the road—lights ablaze, siren screaming and massive fucking airhorns blowing the glass out of your car windows—you should pull over and get the fuck out of the way! This happened again today downtown and makes me want to take a bat to the offending car(s). I can see when there's a cop who is using their weak-ass electronic siren intermittently to cut through traffic, that there might be some mystery where it is in relation to you, or possibly even inaudible over your radio, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm seeing people take their sweet-ass time down the road, making their turns or doing whatever the hell they want with 30,000 loud, in-a-hurry pounds of truck on their ass.
2. Merging in traffic means taking turns in a simple every-other-car technique. Even people in NYC understand this shit.
3. When I am crossing the street with one little girl in my arms and the other one holding my hand, and I have the walk signal and you want to turn right, you fucking sit there and wait until I am out of your fucking way, you stupid Land Cruiser driving jackass.