Dick of the Week: Michelle Malkin

Yes, the age-old question answered...the D.O.W. can be a woman.

Intrepid investigative reporter Michelle Malkin is doing her best to defend America from the fraudulent propaganda forced into our pinned-open eyelids by the omnipotent Democrat Party and their Army of Twelve Year Old Stormtroopers! Leaving no stone unturned no dark alley uninspected Malkin exposes the lies and deception...

Oh, you mean she just uses her highly trafficked right-wing bully pulpit website and tv appearences to make baseless smears and charges against a 12 year old boy and his family because they dared speak up about SCHIP? That's the right-wing merchant of bullshit we all know and loathe.

Apparently while I've been too busy to post about anything but baseball, this has been a real hot topic...Well, there's no more baseball for a few days, and this the big, fat, hanging curveball I need to get my fury swing back in shape.

It seems the Democrats had a twelve year old boy make the response to Bush's radio address a week or two ago, and he told the story of his family's struggles with health insurance and experience with SCHIP. You know, the thing President Compassionate Conservative vetoed..."I don't know why President Bush wants to stop kids who really need help from getting CHIP," young Graeme Frost said, referring to the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP).

Always eager to please the Dark Lords of the GOP Sith, Malkin and her ilk jumped at the chance to savage these perfectly ordinary American citizens in the public arena, claiming (like Karl Rove) that they are "fair game." That's right, opening your mouth in a free society opens you up to personal destruction. I hope this wench was careless enough to tread across the line into slander and libel territory.

Here's Malkin:

Update 2:50pm Eastern: I just returned from a visit to Frost’s commercial property near Patterson Park in Baltimore. It’s a modest place. Talked to one of the tenants, Mike Reilly, who is a talented welder. He said he had known the Frosts for 10 years. Business is good, he told me, though he characterized Frost as “struggling.”

[...] I also passed by the Frosts’ rowhouse. There was an “01-20-09″ bumper sticker plastered on the door and a newer model GMC Suburban parked directly in front of the house. I’ve seen guesstimates of the house’s worth in the $400,000-plus range.

Bet you didn't know Michelle's a real estate appraiser in her spare time... She "guesstimates" the house is worth over $400,000? Even if the house IS worth that much, my first question was, "When did this family buy it? What did they pay?" Did MM ponder this as well? Of course—she's not stupid, just dishonest. Better to make it sound like these Frost characters are living high on the hog in a half-million dollar "remodeled" brownstone. USA Today checked:

Bloggers said the house was worth more than $400,000. It turns out it was bought for $55,000 in 1991 in a Baltimore neighborhood where "there were drug dealers and prostitutes on our street," Bonnie Frost said. Halsey Frost, a woodworker, did most of the renovations, which are "still not done," Bonnie said.

Oh, and a carpenter who drives a truck? The audacity!

Next up? Go after the kids' school—here's Malkin:

The family is not as destitute as the MSM has made them out to be. FreeRepublic member icwhatudo (oh, so clever!) asks the tough questions the mainstream media won’t ask. Like why a “working family” in need of government-subsidized health care can afford to send two children to a $20,000-a-year-private school.

She then blockquotes "icurfullofshit":

…One has to wonder that if time and money can be found to remodel a home, send kids to exclusive private schools, purchase commercial property and run your own business… maybe money can be found for other things…maybe Dad should drop his woodworking hobby and get a real job that offers health insurance..."

Hoo boy, I'm not done with that motherfucker yet...but here's USAT on the school part:

Bloggers said Graeme and Gemma go to private Park School, where tuition costs about $20,000. Graeme gets a scholarship, while Gemma's brain injuries were so severe that the city pays to educate her at a school for children with disabilities.

Did I forget to mention that the thing that sent this family into a medical bill death spiral and put them on SCHIP was a terrible car accident? No matter, the brownshirts show no mercy.

Back to the Freeper asshat, icwhatudo: "...if time and money can be found to remodel a home"—This family home was a dump they bought sixteen fucking years ago when that part of Baltimore was a slum, and he fixed it up himself—let me state first-hand, this is not always laying around in hammock with a beer while paint dries—working on your house can really be hard and time-consuming, and I do it because I can't pay somebody else to. (I have a screen door in my garage that I primed in May that have yet to paint and re-hang—perhaps it'll be ready by the time screen season rolls around again. What's my problem? I have just two kids and none of them have severe disabilities.)

And this crap about him "running his own business"... As if this guy is some kind of tycoon or George "Arbusto" Bush running an oil business into the ground on the Saudi's dime. "Owning a business" more often equals a constant struggle than unbridaled wealth, morons.

I "own my own business."—guess that makes me "a CEO" in the eyes of a frothing pundit. At a certain point, paying for health insurance for my family became too expensive for me and my "business" to support. So, I got a day job, one I am vastly overqualified, and underpaid for, but it has great benefits. Here's the problem—it took me over a year to get it. And I didn't have a couple of my kids in the Brain Injury Clinic. And that job on its own does NOT pay our normal bills, so I still dabble with my "hobby" at night to make ends meet. This can be tough, and perhaps not a viable option for this family. Something that loudmouths in the world of subsidized opinon-spewing probably can't really relate to.

Malkin goes on to criticize the Maryland SCHIP program as lax for "not impos(ing) an asset test on applicants." But Maryland DOES means test, and the Frosts are well within range:

[USAT] The couple — who have four children in all —earned about $45,000 last year, well below the $55,220 limit for a family of six set under the original SCHIP program...

The original program. Yes, these thieving Frosts aren't even one of the new "too rich for a hand-out" families Bush likes to dishonestly use as pretext for his veto. But Michelle and others on the right think they should have to sell their home to meet an assets test even though it would destroy the family's future?

--

All of that said, I'm not sure I completely support the Dem's strategy here, and I do not think that there should be total insulation from any kind of scrutiny if you offer yourself up for a publicity stunt like this. But it was quickly clear this family met the requirements for the program, and found themselves even in that position only due to tragic events, and they should have been left alone at that point. They are now pawns caught in the middle of two forces much bigger than them, who are really more interested in advancing agendas than them or their particular needs, and that's the sad part.

Can we please just quit this fucking dance and get on with National Healthcare already?

MORE: Digby, Ezra, Firedoglake, John Cole. Cole follow-up

UPDATE: One of the other assholes Malkin quotes in her screed claims the Frosts could get health insurance if they really wanted it:

A check of a quote engine for zip code 21250 (Baltimore) finds a plan for $641 with a $0 deductible and $20 doc copays.

First of all, I find that almost impossible to believe. When we paid for our own insurance four years ago, it was more than that for any decent plan, and the only way we got under that amount was to decline maternity coverage—which (gasp) meant we couldn't have the baby if Mrs. F got pregnant. Probably not a position the right wing wants to support.

Also left out of this guy's "analysis" is the fact that this family has pre-existing conditions no insurer would want to touch. My daughter would put us in the same situation. IF we didn't have good insurance her medical issues over the last two years would likely have bankrupted us. And if I needed to to purchase my own insurance now her conditions would jack the rates through the roof.

Medical conditions are often genetic (bad) luck of the draw, and exactly the kind of thing a civilized society shares the burden of—not tosses to the gutter. There is no way I could have "budgeted" for the tests and procedures my daughter went through, and if they had happened while I was dependant solely on "my business" it would have ruined us. This is exactly what happens to families all over the country—medical bills are the largest cause of personal bankruptcies. And the Republican Congress in it's infinite "compassion" made sure it was even more difficult to declare bankruptcy a few years back.

I am at a berserker rage level of hatred and anger right about now.

Walk-Off. And Off™

The long wait for J.D. Drew to come through is over, as he plated the first two runs for Boston tonight in exactly the situation he's come up short all season...and after a season of substandard performance, and a night where Papi walked four times, Manny made K-Rod and the Angels pay. Starting to look like a team on a mission.

Meanwhile the Yanks are down 2-0 and suffered a plague of locusts...

Mister(s) October

Final Score: Boston 4, LA Angels of Anaheim 0

Boston, MA (Sports Network) - Josh Beckett threw a four-hit shutout, retiring 19 batters in a row at one point, as the Boston Red Sox beat the Angels, 4-0, in the opener of their American League Division Series.

David Ortiz belted a two-run homer and Kevin Youkilis added a solo shot for the reigning AL East champions, who also got an RBI single from Mike Lowell.

Beckett (1-0), baseball's only 20-game winner since 2005, was masterful in his first postseason appearance since a magical 2003 run as World Series MVP of Florida's victory over the Yankees. He finished that series with a shutout in Game 6, and on Wednesday he struck out eight without allowing a walk for his third career shutout in the postseason.

Beckett was dealing tonight. If he pitches like that through the post-season, he might get us five of the eleven wins needed for a Championship. His fastball had so much movement it looked like a breaking ball—a 98 mph curve! There are only four guys in history with three postseason shutouts—Beckett, Whitey Ford, Cristy Mathewson, and Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown. After this start, and the seasons he and Lowell put up, I don't want to hear any more Sox fans grousing about Hanley Ramirez.

What is there to say about David Ortiz? In nineteen playoff games since the start of the 2004 postseason he's hit .400 with 7HRs and 22 RBI. When you can do that, you can wear whatever the fuck leprechaun costume you want to the post-game presser...

Flushing

Condolences go out to Rickey and Mike who had to endure a slow-motion car wreck of a collapse by the Mets over the last few weeks. I wouldn't wish that kind of agony on anyone. Well, except Yankee fans. And most other Met fans...

While I lived in NYC, I overcame my '86-based hatred of the Mets and adopted them as my NL team and used them as a proxy Sox to counter the Yanks. I even bought (limited) season ticket packages a couple years. Plenty of guys I liked on the team then, and even now. I was there for the raucous Todd Pratt walk-off game against the D-Backs sitting right behind the plate, but in the very top row, and I actually feared for my life the way that upper deck bounced.

As a Sox fan who for intermittant periods this September seemed to be on the verge of a similar collapse from the "best record in the League" all the way to blowing the Division, I can relate. But they got the job done. The Mets were brutal—top to bottom—with very few exceptions. Minaya never equipped this team with the pitching they needed—coasting on a big lead, and counting on a dominant return from Pedro was a foolish strategy. Almost as foolish as giving Pedro a 4-year deal. Now, I loves me some Petey, and he is one of the few guys getting a pass from me—he battled back from surgery and gave this team gutty performances and a chance to win every time he pitched down the stretch, and they wasted them.

Forget Scott Kazmir, think the Mets would like to have Brian Bannister still? They gave up an ALROY candidate for 23 innings of Ambiorix Burgos. Actually, don't forget Scott Kazmir: Tom Glavine gave up as many runs in the first inning yesterday as Kazmir did the whole month of September—seven. The Kazmir deal is bad on a Bagwellian level. Actually worse, because Bagwell was a fringe prospect, while Kazmir was a highy-regarded flamethrowing lefty. If he was pitching in Queens this season instead of on the worst team in the AL East, he'd be an Cy Young/MVP caliber ace. His performance in TB (13-9, 3.48, league-leading 230 Ks) this season would probably have been good for twenty wins and an ERA under 3 in the NL.

What am I getting at? I'm saying Omar Minaya did a shit job as G.M. Throwing too much money and too many years at guys like Pedro, Delgado, Alou, Green and a host of downside veterans. He has followed the old Yankees strategy and it blew up big time this year. This roster was riddled with injury-risks and potential cliff-diving collapses, and none of it should have been a surprise. After last year, they were complacent when they should have turned things over.

Randolph beat his bullpen every bit as badly as Torre, but he didn't have a Joba Chamberlain to save his ass. He relied too heavily and too long on under-performing veterans in many cases, though he was hamstrung by the tools Minaya left him with.

But the blame* really lies with the players who just flat out stopped playing when it mattered most. They didn't lose nailbiters, they got their asses kicked in all areas. This might look like a photo-finish with two teams tied going into the final game of the season, but the reality is the Mets were dead men walking for weeks.

Blow it up.

UPDATE: *Actual blame goes to Rickey's beard.

Toasted Joe (not to be confused with Toast) offered a Baldwinian challenge to the Mets the other day worth reading.

UPDATE 2: Fantastic rant from Metstrodamus.

Bring it On Home

What a difference a week makes... Last weekend it seemed like the Sox were on the verge of throwing it all away, and now they have reasserted themselves. Well, they certainly managed to make things much more interesting than they needed to, but congrats to the Red Sox who won the AL East the other night, and clinched the best record in the AL tonight. They now get to choose an 8-day or 7-day ALDS series. The team with the best record gets home field throughout, and an option to have an extra day of rest in the 5-game Division series.

I'm hoping they choose the shorter Series. The Sox face the Angels who don't have a deep staff, and even their ace Lackey has been manhandled by the Sox this year. Schilling is skipping his start Sunday, setting him up to open the Series, with Beckett going in Game 2. This saves Beckett to open the ALCS, and pitch at least twice in that Series. But more importantly, picking the short Series forces the long Series on the Indians and Yanks. If they go the distance they will each have to use their top two starters twice. First, the Yanks facing Sabathia and Carmona two times is a serious challenge—they are the two best pitchers in the League—and is the best chance of eliminating them. I do NOT want to play the Yanks. Assuming the Indians prevail, Sabathia and Carmona can't open against the Sox and will need to go on short rest to pitch more than once. This is true of whoever you think the Yanks top two are as well (Wang and Pettitte?) should they advance.

The Sox really stumbled, but over the last several days seem to be picking things up on the offensive side. Manny is back and hitting, Drew and Lowell remain hot, and David Ortiz is a man afire. The pitching remains good enough to keep them in most games, it's the scoring that's been inconsistant, and that looks vastly improved. If only Francona would bury Varitek in the 8-hole...

Anyway, keep the offense rolling..."LET'S GO SOX!"



UPDATE: They opt for the extra day off and the longer series...I suppose with the nagging injuries for some guys this is prudent, and I may have been overanalyzing a bit above. Hopefully they take care of business, while the Yanks and Tribe beat each other senseless. Oh, and I did NOT realize Lackey was 19-9 with the now-AL-leading ERA of 3.01. He had not looked nearly that good against the Sox, guess you have to throw him into the Cy Young mix with those numbers...

Good Morning!

What's Wrong With This Picture?



I mean besides the fact that we have a bunch of crap spilling out of the garage and that Joe needs to clean his gutters...Look closely...

Anything missing? Like my fucking CAR!!! Yes, folks this is the view that greeted me this morning at dog-walking time. "Hmm, did I park around the corner? Did somebody bor—" Looks down and sees this (hint: it's not mine)...



"Somebody stole my fucking car."

Right from the fucking driveway. And look closely, the door to Mrs. F's car is slightly ajar, they were in there as well...which is almost more disturbing to me than my car being gone. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Didn't happen when we gone on our trip, it happened with all of us home, asleep in the house. When we were gone the car was locked and the keys were in the house.

Of course, the degree of theft difficulty was lessened by the fact that last night, the car was NOT locked, and the keys...were...on...the...seat...

It's true, this is not uncommon in the Furious household. We often leave the keys in the cars. If we are parked alongside the house (ie: not in back by the garage, closer to the street) we are pretty adamant about locking and/or bringing the keys inside. But back there? It's like the "green zone"... At least they didn't get a house key too. Because there isn't one on my key chain. Because we don't always lock the house...

Fuck that. It's going to be Fort Fucking Knox around here now. Those stupid creaky garage doors that hardly open and close? Adios. Getting replaced or re-sprung, with openers installed. New locks all around on the house too. Post haste.

As for me? I'm not even sure what to think about all of this. You'd think I'd be all Derek Vineyard about it, but I'm not. I haven't had the car long enough to be too attached too it, and my anger is mitigated somewhat by the feeling of sheepish stupidity for having left the keys in the car. But somebody DID sneak up my driveway and violate our space. Taking away one of our most valuable and personal possessions. So, no, I am not happy this morning. To say the least.

And it had twenty fucking gallons of gas in it too. Fuck.

UPDATE: Car recovered (see comments).

Abusing the Sub

David Kurtz appears to be filling in for Josh Marshall at TPM this week, and he misses the boat on the benefit of forcing the filibuster...

Lots of readers have written in to urge that Democrats actually force the Republicans to filibuster, not merely cave at the threat. The prospect of a presidential veto is, in part, what makes that a pointless exercise for the Democrats. So for all the frustration about not being able to achieve a 60 vote majority, remember that 67 votes is the real bar to overcome.

And that was what he wrote in response to a reader who pointed out perfectly why this makes the Dems look bad. Kurtz seems to think along the lines of "if you're going to lose anyway, why bother?" He even takes it to the next hypothetical, arguing that even if you get the 60, you'll never get the 67.

Kurtz must be auditioning for a Democratic strategist job.

Fortunately, the TPM readers take him to school. Kurtz is wrong, and the readers are right. They pretty much say what I said yesterday minus the over-writing and the expletives...and make a few good points I missed.

Losers

Grabbed a copy of The New York Times on my way into the building today (working at a college has a few perks—free NYT is one). I was curious how they were going to treat yesterday's failures in the Senate. Would they give it proper placement? And, would they treat it as a blanket Senate action (like most media seem to be doing) or as Republican obstructionism?

The story and headline was front-page, above-the-fold, upper right corner (in descending order of size/boldness):

EFFORT TO SHIFT COURSE IN IRAQ FAILS IN SENATE
----------------------------------
G.O.P. MINORITY PREVAILS
----------------------------------
Vote Ends Democratic Bid to Alter Leave Plan for Troops

Not perfect, but at least they addressed two major points without having to read the details of the story. In fact, given the strategy actually employed by the Democrats, they cannot complain about this story much. The NYT notes right up front that a GOP minority blocked the bill, and that it was a Democratic plan. I'd have preferred a headline like "GOP Minority Blocks Democrat's Plan to Stop Screwing the Troops" but saying an effort was made and failed was better than some lines I've seen. Let's read on (emphasis mine):

A proposal that Democrats put forward as their best chance of changing the course of the Iraq war died on the Senate floor on Wednesday, as Republicans stood firmly with President Bush.

With other war initiatives seemingly headed for the same fate, Senate Democrats, who only two weeks ago proclaimed September to be the month for shifting course in Iraq, conceded that they had little chance of success.

They said their strategy would now focus on portraying Republicans as opposing any change and on trying to chip away support for the White House as the war continued.

The proposal that failed Wednesday fell 4 votes short of the 60 needed to prevent a filibuster and would have required that troops be given as much time at home as they had spent overseas before being redeployed.

There were 56 votes in favor, including 6 Republicans — one fewer than the 7 Republicans who joined the Democrats in July, when the measure, by Senator Jim Webb, Democrat of Virginia, also fell 4 votes short

First of all, stop "conceding." Period. Ahead of time…After the fact…Fuck that noise. That's a giant "we don't really mean it" signal to Bush and the GOP—and your own constituents.

The key here is above in bold—this is where the Democrat's own strategy fails them—twice. Not only do they lose the vote, they lose the news cycle as well. While it's made clear in this story Republicans are at fault for the bill "dying on the floor" this was never really brought to a vote. This was NOT and up-or-down vote on the proposal, it was a vote to end debate. The Republicans won despite being outvoted by 13, because the Democrats let them. I've already covered this ground:

Because Reid isn't making the Republicans "filibuster" anything. He counts heads and has a cloture vote, which brings debate to an end artificially, and they move on to the next item. Bullshit. MAKE. THEM. ACTUALLY. FILIBUSTER. Make these assholes actually go to the podium and speak. I don't care if they argue their positions or read the phone book, make them earn it. Reid is letting them off easy with an "implied" filibuster. Fuck that.

That's exactly what happened here. All that happened was the Democrats fell short of the 60 votes to prevent a filibuster and end debate. What does Harry Reid do? Throws up his hands and calls it a day. THAT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT! Caving because the Republicans say they are going to prevent the vote and continue debate is exactly what Reid and the Dems should want. As I said in June, MAKE. THEM. ACTUALLY. FILIBUSTER.

Want to cut past the non-stop O.J. coverage and make sure everyone knows what's happening? Make Republicans take to the podium for 24 hours and explain why they don't want the troops to have time at home. Nobody even knows what the fuck happened yesterday.

Oh, and what else happened yesterday? That's right…the Republicans did the exact same thing regarding upholding Habeus Corpus. The NY Times didn't even fit that on the front page. Toast has that one covered.

Why the hell is Reid scheduling these votes on the same day? And what two votes could possibly be more important than restoring a bedrock principle of democracy dating back to the Magna Carta and, short of ending the war, at least making sure troops get to come home for a decent amount of time between tours?

Another consequence of this fake filibuster shit? Creating the impression that it takes 60 votes to pass legislation. It doesn't. It takes 50+1. The Republicans have hijacked the process, and Reid has let them. All the public knows now is "56 votes falls short." It doesn't—56 votes is fucking bipartisan support with room to spare. Reid IS working with a majority! He even had 7 Republicans cross over! If Bush and 40 Republican partisans and one chinless dickweed want to work hard to screw the country, they can do it. But Reid is letting them have it without breaking a sweat.

What unfolded yesterday convinces me the Democrats are NOT serious about any of this shit. None of it. Yesterday was not a "defeat," it was a revelation. It was Congress, the democratic leadership in particular, exposed.

Only one thing will change my mind, Harry—Bring it back. Attach it to the Defense Bill. Force the vote. Make the Republicans filibuster, and then make them vote. Pass the bill and make Bush veto it. Only then will I "concede" defeat, because we don't have the 2/3's to overturn a veto. but by the time that happens the Republicans own it. The Republicans filibustered it. The Republican President vetoed it. It's on them. But barring that, Reid is letting them get away with it.

Next fall do you think anybody is going to remember what happened yesterday? That the Democrats did anything at all? No. Even the next day, most people never heard about it, and those that did, just heard, "Senate Blocks Troop Leave Bill" They lost the vote, lost the news cycle, lost the public's opinion, failed the troops, failed to uphold their oath to defend the Constitution, and they fucked their own electoral strategy.

All in a day's work.

MORE, BECAUSE I'M NOT ANGRY ENOUGH YET:

“It means that Congress will not intervene in the foreseeable future,” said Senator Joseph I. Lieberman of Connecticut, the Independent who has voted with the Republicans on war issues. “The fact that it didn’t get enough votes says that Congress doesn’t have the votes to stop this strategy of success from going forward.”

Strategy of success? Fuck you, Joe. And I hereby give Chris Dodd one-day immunity to come down the hall and beat the shit out of you for your Habeus vote, you GOP sell-out. Your ass should be booted from every fucking committee for your two votes yesterday.

For now, the failed Webb proposal is the closest Democrats have come to bipartisan legislation that would force Mr. Bush to change his strategy. And with Republicans solidly behind the plan outlined by Mr. Bush and Gen. David H. Petraeus, the commander in Iraq, Democrats have retreated to a firm antiwar stance.

They are no longer entertaining the kind of compromise measures that some Democrats had proposed this month as an attempt to woo Republican defectors, and they said they would instead seek opportunities to hold votes that would more starkly contrast Republican support for the president with Democrats’ demands for withdrawal.

“The Republican leadership and the White House is getting them all to march in line,” said Senator Charles E. Schumer, Democrat of New York, who ranks third in the party leadership. “But it is marching further and further away from where America is. We just keep at it. It’s all we can do.”

"Retreat to a firm stance?" Whatever the hell that is. This is "all you can do," Chuck? Not by a fucking long shot. It's what you have determined is prudent for the election, which is as disgraceful as any action the Republicans have taken. You've decided that proposing DOA legislation and losing cloture votes to "starkly contrast" distinctions is a way to govern. It's not. It's a cop-out and it's a way to cover your asses and that's it.

Oh, and what's the first thing on today's agenda? A resolution to condemn MoveOn.org's stupid Petraeus ad. If that passes I think I'll just shoot myself in the head.

Fuck you guys. I'm done.

UPDATE: Welcome Benenites, and I added a link to my previous post about Mark Kleiman's Defense Bill plan.

"Avast, me hearties!" *

Arrggh! Bilge water! I forgot! I canna believe 'tis already been a voyage since Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Evil Jim Rackham be me name an' I be here t' tell ye that ye be havin' t' Talk Like a Buccanneer oince a year, an' today be th' tide.

Excellent sea dog translation t'anks t' this place.

Find ou' yer pirate name here, here or wit' a horkin' quiz here.

Get started now, ye horn swogglin' scurvy cur — or taste me cold steel!

UPDATE: Arrr, twenty nine thin's t' say today at work Gar, Where can I find a bottle o'rum?

* Blatantly cut an' pasted from last voyage. I be slammed today, but needed t' get this ou' thar. Hopefully more t' come.

UPDATE: Inspired by Rickey in the comments...Pirates Versus Ninjas

You Just Can't Make the Stuff the President Makes Up, Up

At some point in last night's speech, the President thanked "the 36 nations who have troops on the ground in Iraq and the many others who are helping that young democracy." Apparently one of those counties helping us make this an international effort is Iceland. You know, the Iceland that doesn't even have a military—somehow they are helping us with "troops on the ground"...

Did I say "troops?" I meant troop. As in one soldier. And by soldier, I mean spokesman. And he's leaving Iraq in two weeks. For good. [link]

Sounds Like a Plan

Mark Kleiman lays it all out for the Democrats:

Iraq strategy for the Democrats

There's been lots of hand-wringing about what Senate Democrats should do about Iraq, all of it premised on the idea that they need either a filibuster-proof (60-vote) majority or a veto-proof (67-vote) majority. To which I can only say, "Huh? Howzzat again?"

Anything that can be ridden on the Defense Appropriations bill (or on a continuing resolution) doesn't need 60 votes in the Senate. It needs 51 votes in the Senate, or 218 in the House, that will stand firm.

Take, for example, the Webb Amendment, forbidding troops from being required to serve tours in Iraq longer than the spells between tours. If passed, it would force a troop drawdown by spring.

The Democrats should offer the Webb Amendment when the Defense Appropriation comes up. If the Republicans want to filibuster, fine. Don't pull the amendment. Just let them keep filibustering. As long as the amendment is on the floor, there can be no vote on the bill itself. Keep calling cloture votes, one per day. After a few days, start asking how long the Republicans intend to withhold money to fund troops in the field in order to pursue their petty partisan agenda.

If the Republicans in the Senate hold firm, it's their stubbornness that's holding up the bill. If they fold, and the bill gets to the President's desk and he vetoes it, then pass the same damned bill again. And start asking how long the President intends to block funding for troops in the field in order to pursue his petty partisan agenda.

As of October 1, there's no money to fund the war. So the usual move is to pass a continuing resolution, which keeps the money flowing until the appropriation passes. Fine. Pass a continuing resolution with the Webb Amendment attached. If the CR runs into a filibuster or a veto, ask how long ...

Really, this isn't very hard. With the voters overwhelmingly interested in getting us the hell out of Iraq, the Democrats can make full use of the power of the purse without worrying about a backlash, especially with Webb as the public face of the campaign.

He makes it sound so simple. Is there something he (or I) am missing here? Make it fucking happen, Dems. Or, I'll be forced to believe Mike when he comes over and comments that you don't really want to do anything...

O/T: Know what my favorite thing about blogging is? Starting with a serious topic, searching for a photo or quote, and coming across stuff like this and this. Good times.

"I grow fatigued..."

The fact that I can hardly get worked up about the War, among other topics, anymore due to Outrage Fatigue won't stop me from letting somebody else point out what crap Bush's "address to the nation" was. Take it away, Hilzoy:

In a move that caught all of Washington by surprise, President Bush announced tonight that he will begin drawing down troops at almost exactly the rate that he must draw them down unless he is prepared to extend troop rotations or institute the draft. In another startling move, he described this drawdown not as forced on him by deployment schedules, but as a "return on success": the tremendous success of the surge. In so doing, once again, our President shows himself to be a true visionary: seeing things invisible to ordinary men and women. Where we see only a country in the process of falling apart, our more discerning President sees success. Where we see millions of people fleeing their homes, he sees 'civil society taking root'. And, somehow, he sees "a young democracy" where we see dead people.

And to top it all off, where we see a President determined to keep our troops in harm's way for as long as possible, hoping that the civil war unleashed by his folly will unfold on someone else's watch, he sees a chance, "for the first time in years, for people who have been on opposite sides of this difficult debate to come together." Although why he thinks this is so novel escapes me: it has always been possible for both sides to come together if all those who disagree with George W. Bush simply abandon their positions, and this is not the first time he has suggested that we embrace this sort of bipartisanship.

The President also said this:

"In the life of all free nations, there come moments that decide the direction of a country and reveal the character of its people. We are now at such a moment."

Here, for once, I agree completely. We have had clear evidence that our policy in Iraq is unworkable for some time. We need to decide what to do about it. And we have, essentially, two choices. On the one hand, we can face up to this fact, as unpleasant as it might be, and figure out the most honorable way of extricating ourselves. On the other, we can continue to defer the moment when we have to realize that we have failed, and go on sacrificing good and decent men and women to our unwillingness to face the truth.

This will, as President Bush says, reveal our character as a people. I would much rather it reveal some capacity for maturity and decency than a willingness to ask people to die so that we can pretend we haven't lost.

Following up on the President's quote above...This is actually the only part I saw (after the fact, online) and I had to stop it right there before I hurt my pretty new monitor. What the fuck to you mean "we", white man? Whatever has been happening in Iraq, and what comes next has no reflection on this country or the character of its people. The rest of us left you and your retard-base and your fucking abomination of a war in the dust quite a while ago.

Your "moment of truth" is nothing but a bullshit soundbite in your vast narrative of lies. you are pretending to bring troops home, when all you are really doing (and not even committing any numbers, btw) is going back to the same unacceptable number of troops we had before this stupid surge. 2008 will end with the same amount of troops that 2006 did.

Last night's speech was the same as any of the other ones—you continue to fool all 28% of the people all of the time, cow Congress into supporting you, and punt the ball down the field and expect the next President to deal with your fucking mess.

Nicely done. You are full of shit, but it's working. That is your only success—your brain-dead supporters clap, the morons in the media trumpet your "compromise," the Republicans point to this fake success, and the Democrats roll over for whatever you want.

Fuck you, Mr President. And fuck the rest of you too. In fact, you can all suck down one of these...



Extra points for whoever identifies the title quote. Full quote, "I grow fatigued, Captain."

UPDATE: Sullivan, good NYT Op-Ed, Carpetbagger, Slate.com's Kaplan

9/11

Oh, was I supposed to write something special for 9/11? Sorry folks, it's really just like any other day for me. I feel for my good friend who was deeply impacted by the events of the day (lost his FDNY brother), but other than that I am pretty detached. If anything, I've been forced by politics of the day into a cynical posture where I just expect hype and bullshit from the Right as they glorify their touchstone, and bad attempts by the left to relate or appropriate some tough stance.

Me? I mostly remember that I was actually boarding a plane to NYC that morning, and that had we not moved to MI the month prior, I would have watched all happen before my eyes from my office in Brooklyn.

I read something fantastic here, and some shit that pissed me off here. You chose.

Yawn.

I don't care about the death of Alex the supposedly famous, but heretofore unknown, talking parrot. NPR ruined my drive home the other day with a big waste of time story on it, and so have several of my otherwise favorite bloggers. Move on, people.

Patriot Games

[ESPN link] NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has determined that the New England Patriots violated league rules Sunday when they videotaped defensive signals by the New York Jets' coaches, according to league sources.

Here's my take—if you are calling your defensive plays in from the sidelines with hand signals that your players on the field, the Patriots sideline and everyone in the stadium can see, I do NOT consider deciphering those signals cheating. Period.

If The Hoodie is smart enough to crack that code in real time and burn you with his offense—advantage Patriots, and quit yer bitching.

But, if they are using video to record and analyze those signals over the course of a game, at halftime or whatever, it's a clear violation of the "no recording allowed" rule, and the Pats deserve a harsh penalty. Draft picks sound fair to me. Hell, give 'em to the Jets. A forfeit might be too much—this isn't why the Jets got their ass kicked Sunday—the Pats ARE that much better (and as such didn't need to cheat). Though I will say, a forfeit would be a hell of a deterrent—but what is the penalty if the cheating team loses? Set a harsh policy tied to picks and hefty fines.

Oh, and I don't want to hear any whining about them doing this in the past. If the Packers caught them last year and didn't do anything about it they can promptly STFU about it now. That means one of two things to me—they can't prove shit, and thus didn't actually "catch" anything OR they did, but didn't take it to the League because they, and everybody else, are doing it too.

UPDATE: Deadspin says, "why they would do such a thing is another matter ... it's like Lisa Simpson peaking at Ralph Wiggum's test answers."

Also, thanks to 100 Percent Injury Rate for the pic, and this: "I expected this guy to be like a Nam vet using a camcorder and be under a camo grass tarp. Not lugging a huge camera less than 30 feet from the coaches he was not so secretly taping. The guy might as well have had a sign around his neck that said "Suck it Jets, I'm videotaping you assholes."

For the record, that photo seems to leave little doubt. Pretty much red-handed.

Miscellany: Incendiary

COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATISM
Last year the Bush Administration failed to audit even half of the private Medicare insurers they are required to by law, and the ones they did audit scammed the gov't for $60 million that should have gone to beneficiaries. Once the "errors" were discovered, the Bushies took no action and let them keep the money. But, in the case where the gov't forgot to withhold prescription drug premiums from social security recipients, they are "vigorously pursuing money that it says is owed to insurance companies by Medicare beneficiaries." Un-fucking-yet-totally-believable. [h/t Hilzoy]

"OH, THOSE NUCLEAR WEAPONS..."
Last week the USAF accidentally flew a planeload of nuclear warheads across the country, and nobody on the plane knew they were nukes, and nobody on the ground knew they were missing. Oops! Or, maybe not a mistake, which is even worse... [Carpetbagger]

"GO FUCK YOURSELF. SOME MORE."
Cheney wants it both ways, and both are bullshit. Slate.com has a copy of the official letter from the Office of the Vice President to Sen. Leahy's Commitee in response to his subpoenas—they are refusing to comply because he is not part of the Executive Branch, and not subject to Senate scrutiny, but they also assert Executive Privelege. It would have been quicker to Xerox Cheney's ass and send it to Leahy.

"On Saturday we went to Applebee's..."

...and kicked some corporate ass! The Family Furious took it to the streets—that's Kid Furious and the missus "protestin' good in the neighborhood." Baby Furious is off-screen beating the shit out of an uptight prude. Mrs. F has the full story.

Say Hello To the New Attorney General

Restoring integrity to a damaged and overly politicized Department of Justice...

Bush Expected to Nominate Attorney General Next Week
Former Solicitor General Is Called a Leading Candidate
By Dan Eggen | Washington Post Staff Writer
Saturday, September 8, 2007; Page A02

President Bush is expected to choose a replacement for Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales by the middle of next week, and former solicitor general Theodore B. Olson has emerged as one of the leading contenders for the job, according to sources inside and outside the government who are familiar with White House deliberations.

[...] The persistent mention of Olson as a possible candidate has surprised and upset some Democrats, who view the well-known GOP attorney as a sharp-edged partisan who they contend would not be the best choice for a Justice Department accused of becoming overly politicized.

"A lot of Democrats up here would view that as a shocking and unwise choice," one Senate aide said.

But Olson, who represented Bush in the legal battle over the 2000 presidential election, also is widely admired by members of both parties for his legal skills and sharp intellect.

...by nominating Reagan's lawyer during Iran Contra, a major player in the "Arkansas Project" which dug up dirt on the Clintons in the 90s, worked for the Starr Investigation, and finally, was the lawyer who represented George W. Bush in Bush v. Gore—putting Bush in office.

Oh, and while Solicitor General for Bush, he argued cases for the Administration on terrorism, wiretapping, PATRIOT Act, detainees and everything else that could possibly be a conflict of interest.

Sounds perfect. The only way Bush could be a bigger dick would be to nominate Karl Rove.

Place your bets in the comments on whether he ends up being the nominee, and whether the Dems block him. And if they actually DO block him (doubtful) Bush will recess appoint him. Where's my money? Read the title again...I'd LOVE to be wrong.

UPDATE: I neglected to mention this originally, Olson's wife was killed in the 9/11 attacks (I believe she was on the Pentagon plane). I'm sure the Bushies regard that as a trump card and insulation—I regard that as a conflict of interest, and possible impact on objectivity and judgement. It would keep you off a jury, why shouldnt it prevent you from this job? Answer: It should. But there is NO chance any Dems will go there.

Drink up, Chuck

Last time I busted out the mug it was for Harry Reid's turn at Dick of the Week. I'll be brewing the STFU for whoever needs it, and that person need not be DOW. The first pour from the fresh pot goes to Chuck Schumer...

[link] Senators were too quick to accept the nominees’ word that they would respect legal precedents, and “too easily impressed with the charm of Roberts and the erudition of Alito,” Schumer said.

“There is no doubt that we were hoodwinked,” said Schumer, who sits on the Senate Judiciary Committee and heads the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee.

[...] In Friday’s speech, he said his “greatest regret” in the last Congress was not doing more to scuttle Alito.

[...]Schumer said there were four lessons to be learned from Alito and Roberts: Confirmation hearings are meaningless, a nominee’s record should be weighed more heavily than rhetoric, “ideology matters” and “take the president at his word.”

Hoodwinked? Please. You, me, Bush, Alito and everyone else knew exactly what was on the table here, what the President's "word" was worth, and what these confirmations meant—and you fucking pussies capitulated.

You got this part right:

“Alito shouldn’t have been confirmed,” Schumer said. “I should have done a better job. My colleagues said we didn’t have the votes, but I think we should have twisted more arms and done more.”

Yep. You did a shit job, and let the country down. but don't try and tell me you were "hoodwinked." That's crap.

"Say it Ain't So, Rick"

Saw this at rotoworld this morning:

Rick Ankiel-OF- Cardinals Sep. 7 - 3:55 am et
The New York Daily News reports that Rick Ankiel received a 12-month supply of human growth hormone in 2004 from a Florida pharmacy currently under investigation.
So much for what was arguably the best story of the year. If that was Ankiel's only foray into the world of PEDs, one could almost sympathize with him. Ankiel, still a pitcher at the time, had his 2002 and 2003 seasons wrecked by elbow injuries and was trying desperately to make it back. Still, he could have been cheating long before his elbow problems and there's no telling whether he's still using today -- MLB players are not tested for HGH. While a suspension for Ankiel isn't at all likely, we doubt this story will go away as quickly as the news regarding Gary Matthews Jr. did.
Source: NY Daily News

Dammit! This really casts a shadow on what is arguably one of the great sports comeback stories I can remember, period. Here's what I wrote about Ankiel when he first came up to the Cards last month, and the story had only gotten more incredible since—the guy had 7 RBI last night! In 23 games he's hitting .360 with 9 bombs and 29 Ribs. The Cards jumped on his back and climbed back into the race going 17-6 since his call-up.

As rotoworld said, this guy had such downfall—first mental, then physical—one can almost forgive the desperation he must have been feeling at the time. According to the story, he recieved one shipment, before MLB's ban on HGH took effect in 2005, and there is no indication he got any more after that.

What I'd love is for Ankiel to come clean, and make a heartfelt confession about what he was going through, and how he was willing to do whatever he could within the rules at the time to resurrect his career. Unfortunately, he can't do that because while MLB didn't ban HGH, he probably received it illegally. There's no way to know if he uses it now or anytime in between, because MLB does not test for HGH.

I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. For now. I'm also going to start getting used to the fact that just about everybody did some of this shit...

UPDATE: Deadspin editor and CArds fan Will Leitch has a good post up.

Urine My Space

This is probably the only men's room post on the entire internet written this week that is in no way connected to Senator Larry Craig.

On my floor there are two men's rooms. One has three urinals and one stall, the other has five urinals and two stalls. For a quick leak, I go to the smaller (closer) men's room. When it's time for, um, a sit down, I go to the two-stall bathroom which is farther down the hall.

I have long thought the rules of engagement when faced with a bank of urinals is universally understood.

I am wrong.

Two days in a row, I have been first in, chose Urinal #3 (farthest one) and have been followed in by a student who faced with the choice of #1 or #2. Here's the scenario:

| 1 | 2 | 3 |
. . . . . . x

And they each chose #2—directly adjacent to me! WTF? This wouldn't be the first time moron students here have drawn my ire in the can.

Think you know The Rules? Take the test.

For those of you who missed Art History 101, the picture is of this.

In related news, at the library today, I used one of the crazy new waterless urinals. Saves 40,000 gallons of water a year. Per public urinal. Pretty good. Put that in the commercial building code, please.

"the thrill of victory… and the agony of defeat…"

FEAT OF CLAY
I went upstairs to put Kid Furious to bed, I believe, in the 5th inning—I was aware the O's had no hits, but I never expected the no-hitter to hold. It was all over by the time I checked back in. My personal jinx was negated by my not following the game, so Clay Buchholz and all of Red Sox Nation can send me their regards. Chad Finn's been gushing about Buchholz all season, and along with Ellsbury, they are probably the only two guys I considered untouchable at the deadline. Thankfully, it seems, so did Theo.

HOF pitcher, Oriole broadcaster and underwear model Jim Palmer liked what he saw early in last night's start...

So when, as the story goes, [Palmer] banged on the glass to the Red Sox radio booth in the third inning last night to inform Joe Castiglione that the 23-year-old on the mound for Boston reminded him of himself, it was confirmation enough that, yes, Clay Buchholz has the substance to match the hype.

Six innings later, Buchholz and Palmer had the same number of career no-hitters: one.

This kid already had a bright future, hopefully this doesn't blow expectations way to high. He's 23, and sure to hit some rough patches as he develops. No-hitters take an immense amount of luck to go with dominance, and I hope everybody, Buchholz included, keep things in perspective. The morons on the radio in Boston are surely calling for Buchholz to start the rest of the year...I hope they don't do it. Take care of this young arm, and the no-hitter in game number two hopefully won't be the highlight of his career.



CARR CRASH
Let me start by stipulating that I don't really care about college football. Never have. But I am a sports fan, and I could get behind the team that plays right around the corner from my house chasing a national title, if once since I lived here they didn't shoot their season in the foot in September. Except for last year, U-M has lost an early game every season, which in the stupid, playoff-less system, means for all intents and purposes, your title chances are over as soon as you lose. They've lost every bowl game, and every game against Ohio State since I've lived in Ann Arbor. Proof again, perhaps of my jinx power (or Lloyd Carr's ineptitude).

Was I watching yesterday's game? No, I was re-hanging my porch swing (which my fat ass had yanked from the ceiling last week). But from the porch, I can hear the crowd in the stadium, and I could tell things were not going well. When my next- door neighbor walked back from the game, I asked, "What's going on over there? it doesn't sound good."

"They lost. As soon as the kick was blocked, I walked out. I'm not even sure if the guy ran it back or not." (He didn't. But he almost did.)

Then my other neighbor returned, "I'm glad that kick got blocked, because Michigan didn't deserve to win. I'd've been embarrassed if they did. They got outplayed in every facet of the game right from the beginning."

As I said, I don't follow closely, but from my casual observations, Lloyd Carr is a fucking travesty. That loss is 100% on the coach. Bad coaching. Bad preparation. Bad motivation. No adjustments. His teams seem to constantly let bad teams hang around, he fails constantly to make adjustments, and yesterday a Division AA team came into Michigan Stadium and completely outclassed them.

This was supposed to be one of the cupcake games—Carr picked this opponent. Well, his sacrificial lamb just drove the nail into his coffin, and this game will be etched on his headstone.

If Michigan is smart, they'll bring a coach from the hills of North Carolina in to take over for Carr. Appalacian State head coach Jerry Moore can obviously flat-out coach and motivate his players. His team has college's longest winning streak at 14 games, has back-to-back Division I-AA titles, and he just lead his undersized, overmatched Bad News Bears into Yankee Stadium and beat the shit out of the Yankees.

Craig's List

Follow-up and fallout on Senator Craig:

UPDATE: [up top, so they don't get lost]
• Via Andrew Sullivan's stand-in, Jamie, a great column putting Craig and the gay struggle in perspective.

• A very telling, and startling, comparison between Mitt Romney's shiv of Craig and legendary Republican of yore, Barry Goldwater in a similar situation. I'd venture there's barely a politician alive today in either party that would act as nobly as Goldwater did. Things HAVE changed, and any progress in culture, is more than cancelled out by degradation of politics in this circumstance.

• Good article at salon.com about bathroom sex, the closet culture, risky behavior and denial.

--

• Hilzoy has a great post on how any sympathy for a closeted man exposed evaporates with Craig. I concur—read the whole thing, pretty much sums up my feelings...

• Josh Marshall explains the Catch 22 Craig was in after getting busted. It really was a no-win situation for him once he was caught...

[...] Given what's described, it seems quite possible that, with a good lawyer, Craig could have beaten the rap.

But had he tried, it would have become public and it would have been pretty clear -- clear enough to doom him politically -- that Craig is gay and that he gets sex in public restrooms. [...] Remember, there'd already been lots of unconfirmed reports in the past. Because of that, Craig couldn't fight the charge even though he might well have been acquitted. But once he pled guilty, it really wasn't a he said/he said, as his press spokesman said yesterday. Craig had said under oath that he was guilty of the charge.

One way or another, once he was arrested, the apparent facts, even if you think they aren't ones for which you should be criminally culpable, were ones that were not compatible with his continuing in public office -- given his politics and the state he represents. All he could do was plead out and hope against hope that no one ever noticed.

• Also at TPM, a reader points out the fact that Craig really didn't do anything, yet this whole thing is a result of his own actions and attitudes...

Look at the police report. Did he directly ask a cop for sex? No. Did he expose himself lewdly (as opposed to exposing himself to use the facilities)? No. Did he do anything that was unambiguously sexual? No.

All he did was tap his foot, reach down (possibly to pick up a piece of TP), wiggle his fingers, and put his bag in front of him when he sat down. Oh, and he waited in front of an occupied stall. Even if he did everything the cop said he did, where was the lewd conduct? No actual sex happened. No actual sex was discussed...

If Craig was looking for sex, I hope that he can look into his heart and realize that it's 2007, and gay people are allowed to be out, and even get involved in meaningful relationships that don't begin and end in a squalid men's room. I'd hope that he'd recognize that there are even gay Republicans out there (look at former Rep. Kolbe, for one), and that a lot of the stigma and fear that still exists about homosexuality in this society has to do with the behavior of people who are in the closet.

• Andrew Sullivan is on his (gay) honeymoon, but one of his subs notes the evolution of gay culture:

In other words, say goodbye to anonymous cruising and say hello to more weddings. [...] Indeed, this scandal could not have arrived at a more opportune moment. The same day that Andrew--who has spent much of his intellectual life advocating for gay marriage, when many in the gay rights movement were trumpeting separatism, the necessity of being "queer," and other such indulgences--gets married, a United States Senator --who has been a loyal foot soldier in the movement to deny gays civil rights-- is revealed to have allegedly sought out sex with an anonymous man in an airport restroom. Perhaps there is no greater comparison between the stability of being comfortable with who you are and the self-denial and self-hatred of the closet. It's not just the "old" gay culture of anonymous sexual encounters vs. the "new" gay culture of monogamy; it's self-loathing vs. self-affirmation.

• John Cole has a good rundown of reactions, and still maintains some sympathy for Craig:

And again, I am as guilty as everyone else for having fun at the Senator’s expense (and couldn’t even control myself in the beginning of this post), but despite Craig’s voting record, I can’t help but feel sad for him and his family. Going through life where you have to fulfill your deepest urges in quick, anonymous, and meaningless sex acts in public bathrooms so you can hide who you really are from everyone you love is not something I would want anyone to have to go through. I wish Craig’s voting record and political positions were such that he was not helping to damn other people to the same sort of fate.

--

That's the reaction on the internets, the reaction from Craig's own party is fairly disgraceful. The rest of the GOP has the long knives out for Craig—immediately opening an ethics investigation, stripping him of committee seats, and a chorus of calls for his resignation—what stand-up guys! I'm sure the same treatment is in store for David Vitter (busted with prostitutes), Ted Stevens (FBI raids his house) as the GOP cleans house...

Please. The Republicans circle the wagons around you no matter what you're caught doing, and have an amazing capacity for denying wrongdoing and defending each other—unless it deals with teh gay. And if something "gay" and you're from a state with a Repub governor to appoint your replacement, you are an easy mark for the rest of the GOP to shamelessly posture and pander to the homophobe base. Romney and McCain are leading the charge.

Nelson Award: "I Have a Wide Stance!"

The public bathroom-related sexual exploits of the GOP (Gay Old Perverts?) Party continue...

[TPM link] Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) was arrested in June at a Minnesota airport by a plainclothes police officer investigating lewd conduct complaints in a men’s public restroom, according to an arrest report obtained by Roll Call Monday afternoon.

[...]“At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly...The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area,” the report states.

Craig then proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times, and Karsnia noted in his report that “I could ... see Craig had a gold ring on his ring finger as his hand was on my side of the stall divider.”

Karsnia then held his police identification down by the floor so that Craig could see it.

“With my left hand near the floor, I pointed towards the exit. Craig responded, ‘No!’ I again pointed towards the exit. Craig exited the stall with his roller bags without flushing the toilet.* ... Craig said he would not go. I told Craig that he was under arrest, he had to go, and that I didn’t want to make a scene. Craig then left the restroom.”

In a recorded interview after his arrest, Craig “either disagreed with me or ‘didn’t recall’ the events as they happened,” the report states.

Craig stated “that he has a wide stance when going to the bathroom and that his foot may have touched mine,” the report states. Craig also told the arresting officer that he reached down with his right hand to pick up a piece of paper that was on the floor.

Fortunately for Craig, this story comes out during a week when Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are on vacation, so I won't have any video links like I did for the last Chester the GOP Public Restroom Molester**

To Craig's credit the bowlegged defense is better than claiming the cop was wearing "what looked like a black guy's shoes" and opting for the racist "afraid for my life" defense like the previous perv. Though, like Rep. Allen, he tried to pull rank/bribe/intimidate the arresting officer:

Allen: When Allen was loaded into the patrol car, the statement said, he asked if "it would help" that he was a state legislator.

"No," the officer said.

"Help?" Helps make it funny as hell... Craig tried likewise:

Roll Call quoted the Aug. 8 police report as saying that Craig had handed the arresting officer a business card that identified him as a member of the Senate.

"What do you think about that?" Craig is alleged to have said, according to the report.

Oh, and for the record both of these jackass hypocrits were stalwart defenders of marriage and voted 100% against gays.

*Should we assume he also left without WASHING?

** I had this story set aside as a draft, and after today's story I went back, finished it off and posted it.

In Case You Were Wondering...